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It's getting difficult (self.asexual)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by kabukimeow to c/asexual

9 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I've been identifying as ace for 10 years at this point, and I have always for the most part been completely fine with it. But recently I've been feeling very lonely. I can't quite vibe with the "I don't need nobody 😎" ace meme energy anymore as I mostly just feel sad about it. The worst part is that I'd rather "date" or whatever ace-date, qpr, I don't know, another woman, but I don't really have options because I live in a small town. It's kinda been wearing me down :(

Also, I got a little lesbian flag colour sticker recently and I feel like an impostor. Though I am bambi lesbian I think? But still...

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The other comments already mentioned this, but I'll just reiterate myself...

Ace doesn't mean being a lone wolf. The only thing it really means is that you experience little to no sexual attraction. You could still be heteromantic, homoromantic, or somewhere in between. For example I'm heteromantic ace. I'm in a "normal-passing" relationship. I have a bf that I've been together with for almost 10 years now. No one would know if they didn't truly know me; and truthfully, no one knows me that well anyway.

It's tough being an ace in the dating pool, I get it. Your own dating pool seems so slim. But even if you don't find another ace to date, that's okay. And not only that but there's also a spectrum of gray ace to explore too.

What you explained in your original post makes me think that there was a slight consideration of aro instead. Aromatic is something a bit different but nevertheless important to understand as well.

Good luck.

[–] kabukimeow 3 points 1 year ago

I don't really understand the "slight consideration of aro instead" but I'll say anyways. I know I've never fallen in love but I want to share my life with someone... preferably a woman (or I guess enby). It's not that I have something against men per se but... it's difficult for me to often connect with them on a deeper level especially since there is no attraction on my part.

Also thanks.