Asklemmy

I really think this is so much closer to the real answer (as in perfect for you given what we know). You didn't really say much about your life, and that's ok, but I'm going to assume you basically always had something you had to do it you'd go hungry or be in serious physical danger. Or maybe you were with a group of other people and when you had leisure time you got wasted or spent it as a group, not really doing anything, just glad to have a break from the hustle and trying to fit in so you didn't get your ass kicked.

What you need to do here is think in terms of circles.

Your first circle is your living quarters. I don't care if this is a prison cell or a fancy mansion, you need to end the day with the areas you use a lot tidy. Clean kitchen, bathroom presentable to someone you care about, bedroom not full of dirty clothes laying around and clean ones not put away.

Get some podcast or music going and start walking through the places you can control. Pick up and throw write out garage, move other stuff to its real home (a place for everything, everything in its place). Use a Lysol wipe to clean the visible parts of sink and toilet. Empty overflowing garbage cans. Tidy the kitchen, go to bed with the dishes done.

That's your inner circle. Wait until this is a habit. You can do it with your eyes closed now.

Now, you are ready to do fun stuff. You can enjoy without subconsciously thinking you don't deserve that fun.

What you do here is up to you but exercise is always an option, as is cooking. If you love to chill, maybe schedule tv time. Don't just sit down and spend thirty minutes scrolling. Keep a list of shows, movies, and docs. Watch those when you can. If you like to read, make a reading nook. If you live to run, keep your running clothes folded and ready to go so you don't have to waste time finding you clothes etc

Now your circle can grow. Think about your future. Plan things in advance like maybe a trip to an attraction tourists normally visit in your city. Schedule it and do research on how to get there, what to do, stuff nearby to check out.

This teaches you to take yourself seriously and shows you that you can plan and execute on your own.

Now maybe a little more long term. Would you like to get a promotion at work? Maybe get your driver's license? Start saving long term (even a few bucks a paycheck adds up)? All these things are possible. You need to plan. And execute.

I'll stop there because I don't know enough about what you really want. Just what you said about you background tells me you never learned to think long term.

No one taught me that either, so I get it. I grew up in a really good home and safe environment and still never learned how to make a todo list out think long term. I worked as a cook in high school and after for several years and lived one day at a time. It wasn't until my health forced to into a new career that I learned a lot of these skills.