##Overview I have not cut my hair since 2018. I went to a stylist maybe 3 years ago to get my hair thinned but otherwise it's been just growing freely for many years. I've never had hair like this prior to now and any advice on treatment for it so it can be healthier would be appreciated.
It's incredibly thick. When it's in a pony tail, at the base of my skull it is probably about 1"—1¼" diameter. I've never really been able to freely run my fingers or a straight comb through my hair, as it gets caught on random kinks or tangles along the way. I use a soft bristle wet hairbrush and it has been fantastic for controlling my hair.
I notice texturally my hair tends to have a somewhat paradoxical feeling of being dry and oily at the same time. Even after shampooing, if I feel my hair, the skin on my hand will seem to have a bit of oily buildup on it. But even so, you can see that my hair is often frizzy and the physical sensation as I touch it is of it being rather dry.
It often takes a bit of time to soak my hair when showering, maybe 3-4 minutes of running water. When wet, my hair sits at about my pec, and I've measured some follicles to be over 16" long, though when dry the hair bounces up significantly, barely touching my shoulders.
##Goals I would love my hair to not be so voluminous when dry. It is poofy, out of control. I just want it to sit down a little more so I can have it down without constantly battling it to not get in my face and mouth.
I want my hair to feel smoother. Is silky a goal? Who knows. I've gotten a lot of compliments on my hair over the years and I feel like it could be much better looking than it is now.
If kinkiness and tangles are an inevitable symptom of my hair type, so be it. Otherwise, I would really enjoy being able to run my hands through my hair without accidentally putting strands out in the process.
Thank you for your consideration and time!
Techniques and products and behaviors that work well on straight hair can be disasterous for curly hair.
The thinning that hairdressers do can sometimes damage the hair and make it more frizzy. Ideally, you want each chunk of group of hair to end at the same length, so they can form a lock. So for example, I let the damaged broken hair grow out, make sure my nutrition is good so I'm growing good hair, and then asked for a couple of simple layers to cut it off and bring all the ends mostly even with each other. No texturing. Long hair is compatible with curls. Don't go for short haircuts.
Silky is achievable. Silky is a goal. Set your sights on silky. It takes technique and skill and time, but is worthwhile to persue. It can be a sign that your health and diet is right.
Pay attention to what breaks the hair (making the ends uneven): aggressive dry brushing, certain uncovered elastic bands that are too tight, etc. These damaging things are forbidden.
Quick instructions for a fast result:
Comb out gently with wide toothed comb when hair is wet and well lubricated with conditioner. Dont towel dry, but gently squeeze out the water with your fist or a twist. Try not to disrupt the grouping of the hair. Allow to dry but not completely, until still damp. Add a product that's meant for curly hair with a bit of hold. (Put an appropriate amount in palm, rub your hands together and run your fingers with product through the hair to spread it out) Twist a chunk around your finger and pull downward/outwards to lock. Not a tedious process, you can do large chunks at a time. Air dry or gentle blow drying with a diffuser attachment if you're in a rush. Or just put it in a t-shirt turban and go to bed.
It's addictive. Soon you'll be buying satin pillowcases. ;)
Edit: holy f'ing shit ignore the f'er that's telling you to clip off your hair entirely. That's the wrong advice. Don't do it man. Your hair is good. It takes years for some people to get it that long.
I haven't had the chance to go through and reply to everyone in this thread yet but I really appreciate your advice here. I'm definitely going to look into a hair mask and conditioners and post shower care. Some of the advice here has been a bit untopical as I'm a guy, like some haircut options, but I'm definitely looking on keeping the hair. As it stands, today my hair was extremely curly and held its locks really well. I just let it air dry without toweling aggressively and used no shampoo today. I also have been keeping my hair down more instead of constantly keeping it in a tight tail.
I can't imagine the kind of results I will get if I really go on the offensive with good haircare products, better care practice and time.
And no worries, I am ABSOLUTELY not just going to "chop it all off"! I'm frankly not convinced that commenter was not a troll haha
This is a really good result looks-wise. Great definition and still enough volume to look good. I think just a trim & shaping and don't let them thin it this time. How long did it take to dry?
If you want to try styling with gel (I think it would get you a similar look just would hold up for longer) and have a Sally Beauty by you, the "Biotera Alcohol -Free Gel with Bamboo" certainly punches above its weight class as a styler. Like $15 for a whole liter and works well, medium hold - light enough so your hair can set up not have to fight it but strong enough to help it remember its style.
On the other end of the price spectrum, best gel in the world is Ouidad Climate Control Extreme. It's a medium hold gel, despite the name, and feels good and I don't know where you live but it does perform beautifully in humidity.
These recommendations based on the assumption that you have the coarse gauge, resistant individual hairs because you said it takes awhile to get wet. (Also if you have that hair type do shampoo sometimes, maybe once a week or every 10 days. It does need it. I use the Malibu C Hard Water shampoo, it's gentle.)