294
YSK: If service dogs come to you for attention, immediately locate their owner
(self.youshouldknow)
this post was submitted on 18 Jun 2023
294 points (97.1% liked)
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The whole concept of “tough love” is nonsense and usually an excuse for child abuse. It’s of no value. Not saying this instance was abusive but it doesn’t really help either from what we know about child development.
The concept of "tough love" can mean a lot of different things and dismissing it as having "no value" is painting with too broad a stroke.
In this specific instance, it's helpful because kids need to learn at some point that they can't always cry to get what they want. This absolutely has value because otherwise they continue that behavior as toddlers (and sometimes even past that if you keep enabling them...).
So far almost everything I've read is either inconclusive or suggests that letting babies "cry it out" has no benefits that are tangeable or, as some studies found, it's even a possible risk for the babies development:
The "sometimes or more" group of "ignoring the crying baby" from six months to three years reported relatively consistent significant associations with developmental delay in communication (maximum adjusted odds ratio [aOR]: 1.456, 95% confidence interval [CI]: 1.261-1.682), gross motor (maximum aOR: 1.279, 95% CI: 1.159-1.411), fine motor (maximum aOR: 1.274, 95% CI: 1.113-1.457), problem-solving (maximum aOR: 1.178, 95% CI: 1.104-1.256), and personal-social domains (maximum aOR: 1.326, 95% CI: 1.255-1.402).
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35259689/
If you have anything substantial to the contrary, I would love to read it :-)
Sorry... Guess I don't get notifications when I get a response. Your point is valid for infants, though obviously can't be sustainable forever. Maybe the cutoff is once your child learns basic communication, but at some point crying for attention shouldn't be universally rewarded with positive reinforcement as it can encourage negative habits.
For context, it was well past his nap time. We had a schedule to help set his sleeping pattern. We paid a professional to guide us with setting a baby's nap and feeding pattern as well. Clueless and loving parents can sometime fall for every single cry. It's not enjoyable for us to let our baby cry alone, but it has to be done at times.
Following baby's desire whenever and wherever, would lead to fatigue for parents and child. Fatigue parents are no good to a baby.
I suggest not to draw into conclusions too easily. It's easy for the world to label everything as abuse now adays.
This line only makes you more sus
Yo that username too is giving me sus vibes.
Western culture sets unrealistic expectations for babies' nighttime sleep. Parents are told that babies should sleep in their own crib (so that nobody rolls over and crushes the baby), on no padding or pillow (so that they don't suffocate), on their backs (to reduce the risk of SIDS), and hope that they stay asleep long enough so that you can get your own sleep. And if they don't, then follow some guide on sleep training!
That, in my opinion, is insane. Our baby absolutely refused to sleep under those inhumane circumstances, until I thought about it and came to the conclusion that the conventional wisdom was fucked up. Can you even name a mammal that prefers to sleep belly up? (The only one I can think of is sea otters.) I'm pretty sure the statistics say that babies are less likely to die in their sleep if you follow all the guidelines, because they don't actually sleep much! If you were a tiny vulnerable baby, wouldn't you instinctively demand to be next to your parents' warmth and protection at all times? As soon as we tossed out the rulebook and let our baby sleep on our bed in whatever position, life got a whole lot better.