this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2023
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Catullus would be simping hard
He would. To creepy levels - Clodia posts some pic with a popsicle, and Catullus replies "damn I feel jelly for the popsicle". It would be hilarious, and his friends would toot him some taunts, and he'd reply "you fucking pieces of shit, I'm fucking you next!".
Then Clodia would post another pic. With her boyfriend. And Catullus would post something like this.
She doesn't blow guys, she glūbit them
A literal translation of that glubit would be "she peels off". It's fapping/jerking off, not blowjob.
For blowjobs there's [ex]sugit (he/she sucks [off]). I could picture Martialis using this in his merdifari, or Marcus Antonius using it to taunt Catullus, like:
And... yes I know an unhealthy amount of insults in Latin.
My bad ^^