this post was submitted on 03 Sep 2023
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I have 3 step children (I am step dad) they were 13, 10 and 8 when I met them, currently 18, 15 and 12 (birthday soon). When I met them, the primary family activity they did with their bio dad was watching movies and playing video games. They also all slept with a TV on in their room. My girlfriend at the time, now wife, had nothing but an old xbox 360 for video games and they had an old CRT box TV in the bedroom the 3 kids shared. As a result, they did not watch a lot of TV at her house or play a lot of games.
Currently, we do not limit the screens of the 18 year old at all. He has a job and is moving out in <2 months, he can do what he wants with his free time as long as it is not disruptive to anybody else.
Our youngest REALLY likes video games. As a result, we let him play pretty much as much as he wants if he is not at school. That said, he is on 2 soccer teams (middle school and travel) and he works out extra at home. As a result, he usually has about 30 minutes of screen time a day during the school week. Plus he has his phone to play games on the school bus. He does not have Youtube or any streaming apps on his phone though. He is allowed to sleep with the TV on Friday nights only, to celebrate the school week being over. Weekends are screen heavy as well, except for tournament weekends or regular game days. Honestly he is a good and active child so we let him use more screens than would maybe be healthy. Summer is a bit different t, where we force him to go outside and play at least a few hours a day, but otherwise let him do what he wants, so lots of screens there.
Our middle child is not big in to screens, they like to draw and listen to music and use makeup kinda like face paint. They also play volleyball and are not home till 830 most school nights anyways. As a result, they probably only use ~3 or 4 hours of screens a week, not counting changing songs on Spotify.
If they were my bio kids and I'd been there their whole lives, I think they would all use screens less, except maybe the middle. As is, I am mostly glad it is no longer the primary form of entertainment for my middle child and that my youngest is so active.