this post was submitted on 01 Sep 2023
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The Onion

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Hey, Nineties kids! As we’re all getting older, our beloved Furbies are as well: Thousands and thousands of Furbies are now approaching menopause, and it’s affecting everyone around them.

“I’ve owned and sold over a hundred Furbies since they launched in 1998,” says Miranda Collins, a toy collector. “And nearly all of them have grown moody, erratic, and depressed in the past year or two, signaling a massive change in their body that will hopefully subside soon.”

Wow! Those furry little creatures sure have grown up – and are slowly losing their reproductive capacity! Several other collectors have noticed a change among their Furbies, including night sweats, hot flashes, and a reduced sex drive. “We don’t really know when this will be over,” added Miranda. “But we definitely will all breathe a sigh of relief when it finally is. Several of my Furbies just won’t stop crying.” This news sure left us Millennials fumbling for our calcium supplements!


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[–] Chriszz 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I was very confused on what the hell this was about until I saw the sub

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I thought I was witnessing some sort of next level shitpost that I couldn’t comprehend

[–] Chriszz 6 points 1 year ago

Exactly. On that note, theonion would make surreal tier shitposts, more so than they do already in a sense