Asklemmy

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How do you handle being upset about something online? (self.asklemmy)

submitted 1 year ago by _number8_ to c/[email protected]

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like either a dumbass posting stupid shit, unfair bans, idiotic arguments, etc etc. i feel so incredibly stupid letting it affect me at all, but then also there's real feelings mixed in there because it's a real argument i give a shit about to some degree. so it's this odd double crossing where i know it's stupid but i process it as being real.

bonus points for not answering 'go outside drink water read a book' etc etc

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Beware my answer is extremely practical and "Vulcan" so to speak. With that said...

My rule for this and other things is "will I remember/care about this in a couple of days?" If the answer is no -and for most, if not all online interactions, the answer is absolutely not- then why let it occupy your mind now if it's gonna leave it soon anyways. That's why I don't bother interacting with any response that is even mildly adversarial... why bother? Both you and the other person will have forgotten about it the day after tomorrow.

Like, try to remember an specific adversarial online interaction you had from like a month ago... it's probably hard to come up with a particular one. It's just a matter of looking at it from that future perspective in the present.

But maybe, even when trying to adopt that position, you are still overwhelmed with the feeling that you need to prove that you are right or the other person is wrong. In that case, remember two maxims for internet discussion:
1 - Everyone has already chosen their position, and is not changing it.
2 - There is no price for being right.
So, from a practical perspective, you will just be wasting your time trying to prove anything, since it won't change anyone's mind and you will not gain anything from it.

For me looking at it from these perspectives helps me to be "oh well, whatever"