this post was submitted on 17 Jun 2023
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What has everyone got for their dad's, who are usually particularly hard to buy for?

Also, to add a caveat, totally fine to have a complicated relationship with your dad. If this is the case, please be kind to yourself and ignore this post!

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[–] TeaHands 16 points 1 year ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm with you here, I have a very complicated guilt filled relationship with my dad and often this time of year causes issues. I always think it's nice to focus on the positive father figures or even mentors in your life and reach out to show appreciation and know none of this is on you!

[–] TeaHands 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Eh it's been 11 years since he went off the rails so I'm pretty much over it. Sucks around his bday but on weekends like this I'm mostly just happy to not have to spend time and money on an awkward meal out like most people I know. Gonna lounge in pyjamas instead and nobody can even make me feel bad for it lol.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Honestly I admire you so much for this. I am feeling the guilt to go have to spend time with my dad over spending time with my partner (who is an amazing dad). As you say it's always awkward and toxic but still the guilt remains. Great that are prioritising yourself, have a wonderful weekend!

[–] TeaHands 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Well I hope that whatever you do, it's as bearable as possible and you get to come home to your awesome partner asap. I don't know your situation so can't comment any further on that, just remember your feelings in all of this matter too.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Thank you, yours to. Hope you have a lovely weekend!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

same here, I haven't heard from him in 8 years, not sure if he's still alive

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Yeah it's so tricky, people seem to assume that you should have a great relationship with your parents, I certainly don't . Instead, treat yourself nicely this weekend!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Agreed! Love for your parent should be earned not assumed.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Absolutely! We expect people to be reasonable and treat us with respect in all other relationships, why not with our families?

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My local football club I support had a father's day promotion, but a couple weeks beforehand they sent out an email allowing people to opt out. Really nice to see

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Things like, allowing people to opt out, and accepting possible family estrangment needs to be normalised.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

My dad ran out on us when i was a toddler. So yeah. That's how my father's day is gonna be.

[–] TeaHands 3 points 1 year ago

In the best traditions of British understatement....that's a bit of a bugger :(

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Sorry to hear that, best to treat yourself extra kindly on sunday.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago

@TeaHands isn't that the mom who does the sucking? :P

@Ni