Cross-post from the inactive [email protected]
this post was submitted on 23 Aug 2023
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Autism
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It could be that you have developed a form of autistic mutism or social anxiety due to previous experiences. It could be quite helpful to seek a professional evaluation followed by therapy.
I’m on it, but have to wait a year for the assessment. I have a counsellor, but they don’t specialize in autism or assessments. When I told them I suspect I have it, they basically just acknowledged that I was seeking an assessment and changed the subject. It’s hard to navigate processing this kind of new self knowledge alone, but I’m finding lots of helpful info online.
Also, what you said about assuming other people wouldn’t be interested is definitely a part of it for me due to a lifetime of having niche interests. Or sometimes I’ll also just assume that everyone knows the things I know, so it’s not worth bringing up. Many times I’ve heard people say things in conversation that other people around them are wowed / fascinated by and in my head I’m like “I knew that thing and also could have said that, but just assumed it was common knowledge and not worth discussing”. It’s like I just don’t have a good sense of which of the things I know would of interest or use to other people, so I just don’t say anything. Or that I lack enough self-esteem to think that my thoughts would be of value to other people if they don’t seem particularly novel or impressive or useful to me.
Check out our Helpful Resources in the sidebar. Also, feel free to make any posts asking for info, clarification, or advice. Did community is especially helpful.
Regarding the 2nd paragraph, that sounds difficult. Perhaps you haven't found your people yet since it seems like you don't flow with them well. Have you tried finding groups of autistic people? I find that I flow well around autistic people, whereas I have more difficulty with allistic people since they are operating on another wavelength with different assumptions, expectations, and goals.