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this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2023
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Willie Nelson has been smoking pot for longer than most of us have been alive, including on top of the White House with Jimmy Carter's son, he's also outlived many many cigarette smokers and alcoholics.
Mitch McConnell is still going to outlive most of us, because tortoises have a long lifespan, we just need to flip him on his back or drop him into some deep water.
Mitch will never die, he will just shed his ghoulish outer layer and continue to exist in the shadow realm as a wraith
Mitch is a mindflayer that’s been ousted by the elder brain. At this point he’s so weak it’s hard to keep his bowels intact while he keeps his disguise up
Keith Richards better watch his back cuz that strigoi is cumming for his liver, just you wait
And then trump the solamith and the shapechanger desantis are coming to clean up the rest
Mitch is a psychic vampire, this is how it would go.
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Evil assholes full of hate live forever. Ask Kissinger and Murdoch.
The good die young because we're all so fUCKING STRESSED OUT ALL THE TIME
I know a submarine company that might help with deep water bit