this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2023
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How to deal with bullies? (self.autism)
submitted 1 year ago by medvedev to c/autism
42 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

I'm 13y old that was recently diagnosed with ASD. School is starting soon, they surely haven't changed nor a little bit. They're just bunch of idiots that like to express their pain and anger on others. Or just fool them for fun. Reporting them does nothing (have been doing that for almost 6 years). It's like reporting system in CP (Club Penguin), no one is even sure if it even does anything. I never do anything to them, I just stare at them or do something else. That I have blank face or sound calm dosen't mean that I'm calm. When I answer in short sentences that either means that I don't have inspiration to talk or that I hold lots of emotions in me. And, about blank face... I ALMOST ALWAYS HAVE BLANK FACE. I almost never express my emotions on my face. So, should I just throw a tantrum without caring for consequences or act tought. Does entire community of ASDers need to act like douchebags just to not be an easy target for bullying?!

P.S I've posted this in c/autism because I feel like this problem is deeply tied with my personality. -medvedev-

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

My observation is that bullies bully, because they're insecure about their own worth. They try to make themselves feel better about themselves by putting others below themselves. The more worth they perceive in you, the more they want to put you below themselves.

The vile thing about your age is that pretty much no one has much actual worth to show for themselves. You're still going to school, so you haven't yet achieved much for society. When you get out of school, you'll still have plenty time to achieve things for society, but it can still make people feel bad about themselves until then, and some of them react by bullying.

So, yeah, basically two things:

  1. It will get better. Adult bullies are quite rare, because adults generally have self-worth.
  2. Try to make friends. Bullies won't go after you, if they feel like many others are on your side, because those others are your (mutually relevant part of) society. They can really shred those bullies' self-worth.

If you're struggling with proper friendship, this does not need to be proper friendship. It can absolutely be transactional, like maybe you can explain certain subjects to them or heck, bake cakes, and they'll do the emotional work of integrating you into their friend group.