Don't get me wrong. I'm a big fan of marmite. But I'm not an animal. I have it on toast, or a bagel, or maybe a toastie if I'm feeling reckless.
But my son wants marmite sandwiches. Sandwiches! How is it possible to spread marmite on bread without the bread disintegrating? Is there a technique that in my five decades on this earth I have not been able to master?
I wish marmite sold it pre-blended. Marmutter? Marmiterine?
Buttmite?
Dunno. They sell hummus and marmite mixed together. I suspect we have Paul McCartney to blame, 'cos he's popularised that challenging combo.
I've had the premixed marmite and peanut butter before. I'm not a fan of peanut butter normally, but actually... Quite good!