this post was submitted on 09 Aug 2023
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Parenting

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To give an idea of our family: My partner and I have two children with two other parents. We are two fathers and they are two mothers. We both live in our own houses and the children are with us half of the time. But I guess explaining that further is a topic for another time when there is interest (let me know).

What I struggle with at the moment is my partner. And I would like some advice or maybe somebody who can relate. My partner wanted children so much when we started all this, but lately after our second child is born he seems different. He cannot deal with two children alone and finds it very difficult to handle the crying of our newborn and the needs and nagging of our 2yo. We all have a parenting day that we are alone with the children (with exception of one of the mothers who is also still there every after 8h to ensure the right bonding). He gets really stressed out, tired and emotional. His coping strategy is to try to contol everything about the two children and he seems obsessed with them both sleeping. In his opinion they are both always tired and should sleep more. Anything I try to say to help makes him angry and makes him feel like he is a bad parent. I can wait untill it gets better, but he is so stressed.. I don't want him to get burned out or something.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This is difficult to respond to without further information. Does he want to be alone with the children or does he feel obligated to? Is he easily overwhelmed in other situations, or only this one? Did he have a nice youth with parents whose behaviour he can model, or did he not have a good example of how to deal with children? Did you discuss with him what exactly is making him stressed?

[โ€“] Sierk 2 points 1 year ago

We did discuss it, however he gets angry fast.