this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2023
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Autism

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Warning: Hot take: the longer I’m a parent, the more I feel that we shouldn’t be able to have children (self.autism)
submitted 1 year ago by shiroininja to c/autism
39 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Some background:

I am a 35 year old male with a 2 year old son. I was diagnosed this year after a lifetime of struggling and becoming a parent exacerbating my traits.

Today I had an appointment with my son’s speech therapist, because he’s still not talking more than a couple words. The appointment is unstructured play and interaction including mimicking him, waiting for his cues, etc. The problem is, I can’t pick up on communication cues or read what to do next. I can’t communicate with him like a normal parent and I feel like I’m holding him back.

The therapist had to guide me as much as she had to guide him. This was my first time meeting her, and it was all overwhelming and overstimulating. I was fighting back tears half the time and I couldn’t keep and make eye contact as well as my 2 year old. 😭

I feel like my kid is going to be stunted because of my issues. I’m newly divorced and I’m doing my best so my wife doesn’t take him from because “I care for him, but can’t care for him.”

I struggle without routines and children are chaos. I am excluded by other parents because I’m weird or different, and they keep their kids away from us when playing at the park. I want him to be able to socialize and have friends and his autistic monster father gets in the way.

Everything is always so overwhelming and I struggle to not have panic attacks. How am I supposed to help when he gets to school? I have trouble with numbers and can’t do math😭😭

I just feel like giving up. I don’t know what to do

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[–] blackrox1411 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not sure if you explained to the speech therapist that you have autism and difficulties with this. But it may make a huge difference in the way they approach this situation. Also it may help the therapist to know there is a family history of autism and check your son for it to become speech delay/non verbal can be a sign of it in young kids

[–] shiroininja 8 points 1 year ago

I explained my autism to her today. Maybe we’ll make adjustments next time. Yeah, we’re keeping an eye on him, because he seems to be showing some traits.