this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2023
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Kombucha and tepache. Both are fermented drinks so they have a tiny amount of alcohol (usually not enough to be labeled as "alcoholic," although lightweights can get tipsy off it after multiple pints). I drink but have family members who don't, and they're my go-to substitute.
Both have fizziness like beer and a sour/tart/astringent edge that's a little like the cut of alcohol, so I think they share more in common with "hard" drinks than "soft" ones in terms of taste and mouthfeel. Tepache is similar to pineapple-based cocktails. Kombucha can range in similarity to a variety of drinks depending on the brand, flavor, and how old the drink is (I think they turn more alcoholic-tasting over time, sometimes even turning a little skunky like an expired beer). Most kombucha is similar to fruit ciders, with some of the sweeter ones approaching cocktails. Some of the less fruity ones are similar to beer, especially the hops-flavored ones (e.g. Townshend's citrus hops). The honey-based ones are close to mead (e.g. Huney Jun). There are also kombucha sodas that have a bit more sugar, but way less than regular soda, which makes it a much healthier substitute (e.g. Live Soda). Homebrew kombucha tastes even more like an alcoholic drink, with the caveat that it might actually be alcoholic if it wasn't brewed properly! For a safer bet, find someplace that has it on tap: here in the Pacific Northwest where kombucha is especially popular, I've seen it on tap at brewer headquarters/taphouses, grocery stores, and even some bars (if they're not great about cleaning their keg lines then it will really taste like alcohol!) But if you can't find it on tap, bottles or cans will do just fine; cans especially are great if you're missing the sensation of popping open a tallboy, but pouring a bottle into a pint glass will also produce a similar sensation IMO.
Alternatively, I've had success at bars requesting virgin-ish cocktails that include bitters. Reduces the alcohol content without completely eliminating it, plus you get to really experience the taste of the bitters without overwhelming it with hard liquors. Plus it can give a fun challenge to the bartender, which some appreciate and others find obnoxious (they'll probably be more into it if you go on a slower day/time). If you're out at a bar, do tip as if you were drinking; the same effort was put into procuring your drink after all.
EDIT: forgot to add, if what you miss is trying new drinks, Asian markets have you covered! East and Southeast Asia have a large range of drinks very different from what those of us in North America are familiar with: we're talking fruit- yogurt- tea- aloe-based drinks, as well as what can only be described as sugar-based (e.g. ramune). The best stuff is usually in the refrigerated section.