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My experience has been that dendrite and synapse totally maxxed out the server I ran it on (100% cpu utilization for days on end), so I run conduit.
The one downside of conduit is it's a bit behind, so it doesn't support all the latest rooms, and it doesn't support spaces yet, and it has minimal admin tools so you'll want to create all the accounts you need then close logins because bad actors will try to create logins and get you banned from half of Matrix. That said, I can tell you that even on my piddly little server (an Intel Atom D2550), it runs Conduit, ejabberd, nostr, and lotide, and the server basically sits idle. I can't speak of bridges, unfortunately, because I don't really use them.
This is the guide I used, it worked well to set things up:
https://gitlab.com/famedly/conduit/-/blob/next/DEPLOY.md
thanks - the dendrite and synapse experience is what i am worried about - it seems to be the massive implementation that will scale to millions.
i was looking at conduit, but realy dont know what the issues i will come against with it. but it seems to be the most visible of the non-major implementations.
Besides lacking spaces and some rooms not letting you join, (and the lack of admin tools) the only big issue I find is that you plan to run something other than Element as the interface, you'll have to test it because many matrix clients expect synapse or dendrite and won't start with anything else. I've run fluffychat, I think kchat(whatever the kde matrix client is), and nheko, they all worked well with conduit.
as you saying that element doesn't work?
No, I'm saying it does work, but other clients might not.
ah, yep - that is cool. I expect that i will use Element and potentially another simpler client.
I am also curious about how element X will go, which requires the sliding API/proxy thingo. but that is future palitu's problem.