this post was submitted on 21 Jul 2023
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Showerthoughts
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Police don't help you get out of your home. The best case scenario is they arrest your abuser, who'll be back home the next morning (and hopefully won't retaliate too severely against you for humiliating them). Then, weeks to months later you have a court date-- by which time, your abuser's likely threatened you into saying whatever it takes to get them off the hook, and the judge is more than happy to play along so they can get you out the door and move onto other, "more important" cases.
And again, that's the best case scenario. The worst case scenario is your abuser convinces them you were actually the assaulter, and you're the one going to jail instead! Actually, I lied, that's the second-to-worst case scenario. Worst case scenario is the police do nothing, and leave you alone to deal with your abuser's rage at almost getting them caught. Or, you know, they just charge in guns fucking blazing because your skin's the wrong color.
So how would this alternative service be any different? Abusers can be extremely adaptive and have outright control of their victims. The playbook of national services are very easy to learn and adapt around.
Maybe not quite what OP was imagining, but I was less focused on the extraction itself and more the destination: a network of safe, private residences you could flee to, then stay at until you've found a job and are ready to move into normal housing. Even better if they have psychological professionals on hand to help you deal with your trauma-- or hell, even staffers who'll help you get in touch with psychological professionals and other resources to help you get back on your feet would be a big plus.
As for the "extraction" itself, yeah, just going in guns blazing wouldn't work. It'd probably have to vary from client to client. Could be something as simple as venmoing you money for an uber. Or maybe you could work together with the staffers on some kind of skullduggery scheme-- like you say you're going out "grocery shopping", then there's a car waiting for you in the grocery store parking lot to take you to the shelters.
Honestly, even just having a friendly voice on the other side of the phone helping you figure out a plan to get out would be a huge help.
A lot of governments do fund DA networks, including shelters. The reason they don't run them directly is because welfare agencies can't operate with the level of secrecy needed to effectively run the service. Too much would have to be 'on the books'.
Sharp disagree there. I understand you need to keep some things, like the exact locations of the shelters, a secret, but right now things are so opaque it's hard to even figure out how to check for what services might be available to you in your area. Like, literally, I wouldn't even know where to look (google "DV shelters in <my area>"??? I guess? But then you have to worry about being scammed, and the conditions, and if they take kids / pets / male victims, and, and, and...)
That's a lot of fucking time and energy to waste trying to figure out where to even ask for help, let alone actually asking it. And if you're in that situation, you do not have a lot of time and energy at your disposal.
Would be so much easier to just have a hotline you could call that could help you figure out what options are avaliable to you and how to access them.
You look for the charities and open a direct dialogue with them. They will often handle the rest.
Do not underestimate the maliciously skilled. One hotline to call means one number for their phone spyware to silently alert their abuser on, and the victim then disappears in the way they most definitely did not intend to.