this post was submitted on 07 Mar 2025
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Gene Hackman, who suffered from Alzheimer's, lived in the house with his dead wife for a week before he died.

Of the three dogs living in the house, one died because it was locked in a carrier and therefore probably starved to death. The two free-living dogs were the only ones to survive.

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[–] [email protected] 39 points 2 days ago (1 children)

65 isn't really "elderly". She just had bad luck, contracting a rare disease.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The problem is not her age but the lack of contingency planning - this actually happens a lot in industrial nations. The caring partner has an accident or a sudden medical illness and the person cared for dies of the lack of care.

The easiest form of backup is someone checking in regularly by phone - if the relatives (Hackman had three children and at least one granddaughter - but it seems they were estranged) or friends can form some form of habit to call each on a different day and act if none picks up unexpectedly, most of these cases can be effectivly solved.

But additional options exist: Modern medical alarm systems can be programmed to have a "death man switch" - if a certain key is not pressed once or twice a day the system sends out an alarm to the alarm company and they try to get a voice contact. For carers of bed bound patients (with no large pets - so not applicable here) the option to use a motion detector in a hallway exists - instead of the button the system sends out an alarm when none is moving in the hallway for a certain amount of time,which means something is wrong with the carer.

Lately there are ambient assisted living (basically smarthome) systems that can be used as well - e.g. you can hook up a sensor to the microwave and cutlery drawer. Neither has been opened by 2pm? So none had breakfast or lunch and something is wrong. Etc. etc.

In the end people need to plan ahead - and that is the problem. Because by doing so they must submit to their own mortality and we don't like that.

In 22 years in healthcare I had my fair share of these cases. Most end well, but only go on our nerves as paramedics (and nurses),because it's a really big problem if you have a patient who is the carer of someone who can't stay at home alone, and the patient needs urgent transport. (We can't simply take them with us most of the time)

But just to give you a few examples of cases I remember:

  • The 45 y/o lady who basically died of thirst fully conscious - She was a quadriplegic, her husband was a bit older and seemed to have suffered a sudden cardiac arrest while caring for her, ripping of her communication computer of her bed while going down. She was still alive when found, but sadly we couldn't save her, organs and brain were to far gone. That one really left a mark in my brain.

  • The 80 year old lady who was mobile but had heavy Alzheimer and ran away (possibly to find help,not totally known) after her partner was unable to get up for 36h after an fall resulting in a broken hip. He literally saw her walking out but couldn't stop her. She was found 4 weeks later, in a creek.

  • The 90 year old who died of thirst and hunger after his somewhat wife died during the night. He made notes on a piece of paper about the dates... But was unable to summon help due to being bed bound. Especially bad as he had a system in place - their daughter called every day - but she had a horrific accident on "day one" and was in coma.

Anyway. It's a horrific way to go. Talk to your elderly relatives and neighbours.