this post was submitted on 19 Feb 2025
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Does anyone else have this weird quirk where you prefer phonecalls over emails? (self.autism)
submitted 3 days ago by Droggelbecher to c/autism
16 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Something about there being a record of what I said that can be checked and rechecked as many times as wanted gives me mad anxiety. Like they can analyse just how weird I talk. With a phonecall, all that remains is memory, and that makes people way more inclined to give me the benefit of the doubt.

Sometimes I take half a day considering just how to address and sign an email. There's such intricate expectations there and no cues from them that would allow me to adjust as needed. It's just guessing with zero clues. At least when I get an immediate response to anything I say I can adjust as I go and kind of match their tone.

Don't get me wrong, I find calls stressful too, but at least the stressing is over when it's done. It's more of a ripping the band-aid off kind of stress. The barrier of actually doing it is higher, but at least i can't really spend all day putting my energy into it as I do with an email.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago

If I'm trying to work through a problem, then yes, a call is better. It lets the thoughts flow and you've got someone else there to help fill in any blanks.

It also takes me forever to write emails. That said, if I'm discussing something work related with someone higher on the crab bucket, I am 100% going the email route. All that time and effort I'm putting into exact wording and tone? That's gonna be on record, and it's gonna be to my benefit. As are the vague one-sentence replies (if any) by management. I'm sorry, you're asking why project X is on fire? Here's 6 months and 5000 words of documentation, of which your contribution was, "ok."

Believe me, I totally get where you're coming from. I just had to learn the hard way that I needed to weaponize my literary elephantitis as a way of self defense.