this post was submitted on 19 Feb 2025
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Does anyone else have this weird quirk where you prefer phonecalls over emails? (self.autism)
submitted 3 days ago by Droggelbecher to c/autism
16 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Something about there being a record of what I said that can be checked and rechecked as many times as wanted gives me mad anxiety. Like they can analyse just how weird I talk. With a phonecall, all that remains is memory, and that makes people way more inclined to give me the benefit of the doubt.

Sometimes I take half a day considering just how to address and sign an email. There's such intricate expectations there and no cues from them that would allow me to adjust as needed. It's just guessing with zero clues. At least when I get an immediate response to anything I say I can adjust as I go and kind of match their tone.

Don't get me wrong, I find calls stressful too, but at least the stressing is over when it's done. It's more of a ripping the band-aid off kind of stress. The barrier of actually doing it is higher, but at least i can't really spend all day putting my energy into it as I do with an email.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I generally prefer emails over phone calls because with phone calls I can be put on the spot and if I'm tired or having a bad day then I can't always respond effectively. Emails ensure that I can't get overwhelmed in the middle of an important conversation.

[–] Droggelbecher 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

This is what I always hear everyone say! It makes sense, but sort of don't work that way

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Not everybody has the same stressors or needs and hence won't have the same coping techniques. Nothing wrong with that. The important thing is that you've identified an approach that works for you.

[–] Droggelbecher 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

You've put it so well, this was really helpful. Thank you!

I guess I kind of wanted to find people who relate so I don't invalidate myself, but what you said already helps against self-invalidation!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

You're welcome! I can certainly empathise with wanting to find people who have the same experience. If it helps at all, whilst I don't experience the struggle you do with composing emails, another person I know definitely does. Don't know if they prefer phone calls, though.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

I'm the same. I need time to process and phone calls with customers stress me.

But I also have this weird thing where I'll suddenly become very scared to check my email for weeks or even months.