this post was submitted on 17 Feb 2025
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[–] TankovayaDiviziya 7 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

There are sacrifices, but I don't feel like I've given up my life.

Yeah, I think one has to think about carefully first before having kids, and be prepared what they have to sacrifice. Raising a child is not easy.

I think what this post is portraying is regret that they haven't expected on what sacrifices they have to make to take care of a child. A lot of people want to get married and/or have kids just for the sake of it, because that is what society expect them to do.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

Another big part is that so many people have virtually zero support. It's just them and their kids. For the first few years, we lived a 4.5hr drive from any family support. I don't even know how you find and vet babysitters these days.

It doesn't help that we're atheists, so we don't even get the built in community support that a lot of churches provide.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

I'm in a similar position. Secular childcare is insanely expensive and the only alternative is church preschool. For what its worth, I don't worry about the more liberal religious schools as kids believe in Santa at that age anyways.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Same.

Japan doesn't have babysitters. It suuuuuucks.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Wait there are no babysitters in Japan? I was only there for a year as a very much childless young adult, but for some reason I assumed there would be babysitters. Thinking back, I don't think I ever knew someone who babysat unless it was an older sibling looking after younger siblings. Heck, I don't even know the Japanese word for it. Wow, for some reason I really thought that was only a modern American problem.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

Nope, there's only a few on-call childcare services and they're very expensive and booked way out in advance. You also have to do interviews with the care provider.