this post was submitted on 17 Feb 2025
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There is no "Fair" when you become a parent.
Parents who hate parenting misses their old selfish lives. Being a (good) parent means you no longer can be selfish and your life is no longer about you.
That might seem grim, but what you get in return is a little human that looks up at you. That holds your hands because you are their world to them.
Let go of your selfish lives and learn to enjoy your new selfless life.
Or I can go visit my sister and play with my niblings but not have to deal with any of the downsides of having children.
As a parent and a former uncle, I can tell you that it's not comparable in the slightest. One is just having fun with a kid, while the other fills you with a sense of purpose unlike anything else.
Every single one of you sound like you’ve bought into a cult. I don’t need to spit out some kid to feel purposeful and content, just appreciate that I’m visiting to give you a break from parenting and let it go.
I've heard it said before that having your own and seeing someone elses' children is not the same, the whole "you cannot understand until you have your own yada yada".
As a parent myself, I would never recommend anyone to have kids who really don't want it. It's okay to never want to see a child again, if that is was you want. I love being a parent but that is my experience and my life.
If you are fine as it is now, then there is not need to change it. What should matter to you is that you are happy, not someone else.
Real talk. We appreciate you helping watching and playing with our kids. It's enrichment for our kids and they are growing to enjoy the company. But this is NOT the purposeful and content part of parenting.
My son was being bullied at school and didn't know how to speak out for himself or even tell the teacher it was happening. My wife and I have been helping him vocalize and visualize how to express his discontent in a healthy way and also have the ability to report it to the teacher.
After months of this last week my son reported it to the teacher for the first time this year. I was so proud of him for speaking up to his bully and telling a teacher.
This is just a small thing that fills me with purpose and content. Everything we do together and watching him become a better person than me is what keeps me going.