Mental Health

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How can you escape toxic people if you're too hurt from them? (self.mentalhealth)

submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by Lost_Soul to c/mentalhealth

16 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I'm 21/male and already lived on my own but I was forced to move back to my toxic parents 2 years ago because I wasn't able to live on my own because of my depression that was caused by the trauma from my parents (the only alternative I had was being homeless).

I was taken away from my parents when I was 12 and the fact that I now live with the people again who are the cause of my misery makes me feel like I'm paralyzed and I don't know how to escape this situation.

I'm a very sensitive person and always seek positivity and thoughtful interactions. Especially my dad is the exact opposite of that and is the most direct and rude person I ever met in my life. Every time my dad see's me he lectures and devalues me in the most direct and aggressive tone imaginable to the point where I'm too afraid to leave my room when he's in the house. He even criticizes me when I don't touch the door properly and leave fingerprints or when I left a few water drops at the sink as if I murdered someone and he leaves threatening messages on paper across the house. And everywhere he goes he spreads negative energy. (I'm obviously not doing anything wrong and he's just dissatisfied with himself and he makes way bigger/actual mistakes.)

As a highly sensitive and reactive person this makes me deeply depressed and makes me feel I'm incapable of escaping it on my own. I know that I have potential but I can't use it because the circumstances are paralyzing me. It's like being trapped in hell and the fact that this hell is so damaging/hurtful to me makes me unable to escape. I feel like it's destroying me!

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)

I'm confused. You are depressed by your parents so you moved back in with them? It seems like that would only make your situation worse... This sounds difficult. I can understand being sensitive and wanting to make the best of things but being put down. We can't control others. It sounds like the first step would be to find your own place and get professional help to deal with your trauma.

[–] Lost_Soul 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

I didn't go here voluntarily. I wasn't able to live on my own because of my depression and the only alternative would've been to be homeless. I didn't want to be here since day one but it's putting me down so much that I'm feeling incapable of getting out.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Oh, I got it. Thanks for explaining. Sorry for simplifying your issue. Hard to understand what others are going through.

Are you able to see a therapist? They really helped me.

Again, I can really understand wanting to be nice and being called sensitive. I feel for that sensitivity but also hate how that term can be used by others to disregard our feelings. I'm very sorry for your situation.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

What about joining the military or a monastery? You can be a monk for a while.

A friend of mine did this on his twenties and it really helped him out.

You’d have to dedicate your life to monastic living, but there are worse ways to spend one’s time.

Alternative is the military. Obviously there are ethical questions you’d have to answer there for yourself.

[–] Lost_Soul 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

The monk part is actually a great idea, I've never thought about that. I'm not sure if there are availabilities around me though

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

My friend went to Thailand, but part of his monk training involved martial arts training in Germany. He’s now re-joined regular life. He lives in Boston now and he’s a psychotherapist, meditation instructor, husband, and father.

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