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Like it or not, there are plenty of women who are okay with this because their husbands who support it are making money and buying them things.
Fear is an extremely powerful motivator. I'm going to assume you haven't had to deal with that personally before, so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, but fear in these situations can absolutely cause people to defend their abusers, else they get beaten and/or raped again for not "taking his side". My wife was in that situation in her last marriage; if he wanted sex, she could either just go with it so she didn't get beaten, or she could say "no", at which point he would get angry and rape her anyway.
Being isolated with zero support system and then being shamed (like you're doing) for just trying to survive is what keeps those women in those situations.
They shouldn't be getting with these abusers in the first place. Most women end up in these situations because they value the wrong things.
I go back to my point of "there are plenty of women who are okay with this because their husbands who support it are making money and buying them things."
They chose these relationships. The sooner we can educate more women on why their reasoning for getting with these people is flawed, the sooner we can stop it from happening.
Nobody is holding a gun to their head saying "hey, marry this dickbag!" It's usually for social clout, i.e. he buys them things they can show off to their peers.
I'll give you one more chance to quit moving the goalposts.
In most of these situations, the abuser is putting on a face. This happened to me, so I speak from experience. I married a wonderful woman, and over time she became more controlling, snappier, wanted me to spend less and less time with my parents/siblings/friends until any mention of them made her angry, etc, etc... To the point that I was isolated completely with no support system when the violence started.
Point is, the person that becomes the abuser rarely shows their true colors until the victim is already heavily invested, especially when they're "trapped" with kids or other things.