this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2025
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So now you have a friend that you have so much in common with, to do stuff together that you both enjoy, and not do stuff you both dislike. You'd keep a friend like that if he was a guy. What if you told this girl you want to try to be friends, but please make an effort to not be so hot when you're hanging out together. No makeup, her least flattering clothes. Unless you're going out drinking and being wingpeople for each other, then obviously you both help each other make attractive choices. If you still can't let her out of your fuckzone, and treat her as a real friend, then maybe it's time to part.
So basically "don't be yourself and walk on eggshells around me at all times". That'd make me just not want to be around you, even as a friend. Friends don't do that. Do not ask her that.
Adding: that request would make me feel not just uncomfortable but actually unsafe.
Okay maybe it's just because I'm an old woman and the world has changed, but in my day I had a lot of guy friends around whom I didn't try to be cute or sexy and we stayed just friends. Gonna agree that probably it's something she has to decide on her own, not be asked. If I knew the guy had a crush and was trying to get over it I would be my unvarnished self. Maybe also my perspective is different from yours because I don't choose to wear makeup for myself, only to look like I made an effort in social occasions.
The part about walking on eggshells is your addition, I didn't say or imply that.
Yeah maybe I can try to arrange an non-romantic hangout with her. We had so many date ideas, and many of them can be adapted to bring friends over.
Additionally, she wasn't that hot without flattering clothes, but I'm not particularly hot either, so I expect to date average looking girls.
That's a good attitude! Both as regards this friendship and girls in general.