this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2025
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Ye Power Trippin' Bastards

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This is a community in the spirit of "Am I The Asshole" where people can post their own bans from lemmy or reddit or whatever and get some feedback from others whether the ban was justified or not.

Sometimes one just wants to be able to challenge the arguments some mod made and this could be the place for that.


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likely in response to my comments on the beehaw post, which i linked to (hopefully im doing this right?). apparently, calling people you dont know for the first time "they/them" before being told their pronouns is "misgendering". absurd. this kind of attitude threatens the larger LGBTQ community and is partially why cishets hate us after we won so much progress back in the 00s and 10s.

im a queer person. im neurodivergent. this shit is so goddamn fucking annoying, especially as an older queer who got physically assaulted on a near daily basis for being queer in the 90s. the kids today get their panties in a twist over being supposedly "misgendered" by someone calling them gender neutral pronouns before being corrected. narcissistic victimhood bullshit.

anyways, now banned from one of my favorite instances. meanwhile in the US theyre planning on hunting us. but yeah, lets ban fellow queers over their view that people who get mad about being "misgendered" when they arent (cis people are also referred to as "they/them" before further context in a conversation with a stranger) are just attention seeking brats that threaten the larger movement. its so obvious to me that the brats who find reason to be offended over innocent pronoun use never faced real adversity, like getting repeatedly physically beaten.

edit - the best part of all of this is i faced no moderation from beehaw and all of my comments are +1 or higher. power tripping oversensitive neurodivergent hating bastard of a mod over at blahaj IMO.

edit 2 - did this wrong. heres a link to the post i think got me banned from blahaj and a screenshot about it https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/37659465

Edit 3 - apparently I did nothing wrong until I made my thoughts known about how the pronoun police fucked over the larger LGBTQ community as our rights are backsliding in America. Yall are gonna whine about being misgendered to the concentration camp guards at the rate we’re going. God forbid I be angry that while queers were busy fighting over pronouns our adversaries stuffed the courts, stuffed the school boards, couped the government, and are installing a fascist dictatorship. When I say that these fucking toddlers are going to learn what real oppression tastes like, that’s what I mean. It’s not that I want us to be hurt or oppressed (as the dog piling idiots have interpreted), it’s that the younger generation is weak as hell and lost the fucking plot in the fight for our rights. I grew up getting beaten in the streets for being queer only for these kids to claim their pronouns not being mind-read is oppression!

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[–] PugJesus 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

If you're one of their in-group, you can get angry and say whatever you like and get asspats for it, even if they don't agree with your position; if you're one of the out-group, suddenly you're toxic if you ever get upset for any reason. Infinite patience for "our's", no patience for "others". Like circular firing squads on Tumblr, it doesn't matter if you're queer, neurodivergent, etc; what matters is if you're part of the social circle in question.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'm not in the in-group, never got any issue.

[–] PugJesus 0 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Have you contradicted the in-group in anything other than a self-abasing way?

If not, then there's no reason why you'd have any issues with the group. It's a case of tribalism, not a marauder gang.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Tolerance paradox I would say. Someone's tribalism is another community's policy.

OP's post seems to come from a misunderstanding between using "they" for a person whose you don't the pronouns vs a person that communicated pronouns.

[–] PugJesus 0 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Tolerance paradox I would say. Someone’s tribalism is another community’s policy.

That's not what the tolerance paradox is.

OP’s post seems to come from a misunderstanding between using “they” for a person whose you don’t the pronouns vs a person that communicated pronouns.

And supporting using 'they' for a person whose pronouns you don't know is apparently worthy of a ban from Blahaj's 'community policy'

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I reread the thread again because I wasn't sure

Someone

I can’t relate to why someone takes offence at “they”/“them” but, if they are offended, I can and will accept that and, conversely, I would wish that they might realise that I will surely make mistakes and get this wrong even if I do or did understand.

OP

Getting mad about being “misgendered” by a stranger calling you the gender neutral they/them for the first time until otherwise specified isn’t behavior that’s acting in good faith but rather narcissistic attention seeking faux outrage.

I can see why this could be seen as gatekeeping.

As a sidenote, as much as I'm not a fan of hexbear, their policy of enforcing pronouns in the display name helps with that issue.

[–] [email protected] -4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

for the first time until otherwise specified

Getting mad about this is being a queer piss baby who never faced real oppression.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 1 week ago

And supporting using 'they' for a person whose pronouns you don't know is apparently worthy of a ban from Blahaj's 'community policy'

Yup. Total fucking insanity and harmful to the queer community.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The entire time all of comments have been about people you’ve met for the first time who are strangers.

But even if you know someone, cis trans or otherwise, you will still use they/them occasionally in a sentence because that’s how English works.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

not true. the beehaw thread all this was under was explicitly written asking about people you know or have met.

it’s totally fine to make that mistake but your anger and name calling is unacceptable.

[–] GrammarPolice 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I don't know whether you're criticizing or affirming blahaj's behaviour

[–] PugJesus 1 points 1 week ago