this post was submitted on 28 Jan 2025
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Was I born this way though? That question might not even make sense, humans are very complicated and constantly changing. "Born this way" is a retort to the "it's just a phase" argument, but I think it misses the mark. Perhaps it's a phase, perhaps not, why should it matter?
We can philosophize about how hidden variables control how people develop, and those variables may exist, but that's really just a scientific curiosity, it should have no bearing on how we treat people.
the more i learn about humans the more one thing becomes clear to me: humans are incredibly good at adapting to new environments and accepting them as their new normal.
we are so incredibly shaped by our environments, i doubt there is much essential about people other than maybe a few inherent tendencies. that doesnt mean tho that people dont aquire attributes during their lives that become basically impossible to change. what has been unleashed once might be impossible to lock away ever again.
but whether inherent or not doesnt matter, because imo we should always let people be the way they wanna be and support them, unless they are being harmful (by a libertairian understnading), which is when we should try to help them or at least protect ourselves from them.
Yeah, I sometimes wonder what if [something] went differently in my life when I was younger, but I realize that future "me" is a different person. Maybe I would've preferred to have been them, maybe not, but I'm not them and I don't want to be them now.
The original 'born this way' movement wasn't so much to imply people are 'X' way and there's nothing that changes, it was a response to (Christians) claiming that people we being made gay, or that they chose to be gay instead of 'what they were born as' which was heteronormative stuff. It was the idea you could 'anti-gay' it out of them.
Now though, of course you're right, there's no 'way you are born' and everyone grows and changes as they age and experience. At the time though we were fighting a post-Reagan society that was hell-bent on turning back as many societal acceptances as possible (sound familiar? :( )
So yes it's both out of date and not entirely correct, but the spirit is why it's still used, I think. 2SLGBTQIA+ aren't a monolith, and I don't speak for everyone, I just lived through it.
It's because if you think you're gay and kiss the same gender then discover you weren't actually gay, you become tainted forever and upon death your soul turns into a cold sore in someone's mouth instead of going to the Promised Land to play the harp with everyone else. Or something that makes about as much sense as that.
cooties 😔