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Tom Brady is trying to kill you... Still: drink some water (lemmy.world)

submitted 3 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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(7 years ago)

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[–] FooBarrington 13 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

There has been a warning issued for your district, Tom Brady has been sighted. Keep your doors locked and your cups covered.

If Tom Brady knocks on your door, above all: Don't reply. Don't make a sound. Don't cry, weep or even sweat. Hide, and pray, for he can sense any fluids on your skin.

We'd like to issue a correction. In our previous story, we've stated that Tom Brady can sense fluids on the outside of a person. We've received confirmation that Tom Brady has now developed the ability to sense them on the inside as well. May God have mercy on us all, for Tom Brady has none.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

*Ding-Dong!¸*
"Oh good, it's the water man - I hope he's thirsty!"