ADHD

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A casual community for people with ADHD

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Acceptance, Openness, Understanding, Equality, Reciprocity.

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Respectful venting, including dealing with oppressive neurotypical culture, is okay.
Discussing other neurological problems like autism, anxiety, ptsd, and brain injury are allowed.
Discussions regarding medication are allowed as long as you are describing your own situation and not telling others what to do (only qualified medical practitioners can prescribe medication).

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Questions on confusing situations.
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Relevant Lemmy communities:

Neurodivergent Life Hacks

lemmy.world/c/adhd will happily promote other ND communities as long as said communities demonstrate that they share our values.

founded 2 years ago

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I got a call from my mom yesterday... (self.adhd)

submitted 3 days ago by lady_maria to c/adhd

16 comments fedilink hide all child comments

A rant. FYI, this post might be a but triggering for some.

She called about ADHD. She was renewing her nursing license (though she's retired) and said she took a course on adult ADHD. She said she felt bad that she has been so ignorant about it, and that she didn’t know I was suffering all this time.

I didn't, but I wanted to say, "what the fuck do you mean you didn't know??? How????"

I literally requested help for it at like 13, but the doctor gave up on it immediately after I was on Concerta for just a few weeks because I was FORGETTING TO TAKE IT (??????). She said, "you're just depressed and anxious". Okay??? As if it's impossible to have ADHD too???

Never mind the fact that when the doctor dismissed me the first time, it took me crying to get her to even consider it the first place.

My parents didn't even say anything when she took me off of Concerta and reiterated that she thought i just had depression and anxiety. They just accepted it even though I KNEW I had it. I did the research, because no one else was going to, clearly. And I knew my feelings usually weren't taken seriously, anyway.

I was finally able to get medicated just recently. I'm 32. I appreciate her trying now, but I needed help then. My life could've been so much different if I hadn't been easily and frequently dismissed.

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[–] lady_maria 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Thank you. I have forgiven her, in a sense. I know she did her best, and they were good parents in other ways, but she's sometimes still dismissive, even today. I know it's not on purpose or anything, but it makes me not want to speak to them.

They're both baby boomers who ignorant almost across the board, with the emotional intelligence of middle schoolers. I doubt talking to them about would accomplish anything other than upsetting everyone involved, but I do appreciate her regret.

[–] Tarquinn2049 6 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

If it helps at all, genetic odds suggest they grew up undiagnosed if they don't think they were neurodivergent.

My dad is definitely adhd, and my mom is quite likely on the autism spectrum, but growing up my dad was just a "troubled kid" and my mom "did her own thing".

Now they just have big ol bags of repression and forced conformity that they feel ashamed to have never fully lived up to.

[–] lady_maria 3 points 3 days ago

Oh, my father has a pretty severe case of bipolar disorder, so that definitely doesn't help. I'd be surprised if my mom has ADHD, but she for sure has a lot of anxiety at the very least