this post was submitted on 25 Jan 2025
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I thought this article was interesting, in that I am immediately suspicious of the motives of some of people quoted. The conclusion runs counter to what I want to be true, and I'm curious what other people make of it.

Also men: Do you actually feel attacked? I'm not sure I've ever seen someone criticised for like being strong and capable, or a good carpenter, or a protective dad or whatever. Is this a real thing? or just something that is used as cover like the traditional values vs violent misogyny terminology.

P.S. Thinking there are hordes of ravenous cancellers waiting in the wings is extremely funny to me. Not exactly beating the allegations that listening to Jo Rogan damages your perception of reality.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago (6 children)

“middle path of masculinity”, between the “emasculated” and “browbeaten” male of the far left and the Tate-like women haters and “pickup artists” of the far right.

“We want to foster the good side [of masculinity],” he says. “Which is being on the mission, wanting to be strong, being something of a warrior, but also being the good man, the loving husband, the loving partner, the good father”

“There is a vitriol against that idea[...]"

If you ask most people who allegedly want to brow beat men what "good masculinity" is you would probably get stuff like:

  • strong and helpful
  • patient
  • skilled
  • protects people
  • Loving and attentive
  • Takes care of body and mind
  • Good in a crisis

This guy is claiming men are attacked for wanting to be strong, loving, a good father, and 'something of a warrior'

Idk what the last means but I basically only see men attacked for

  • treating women as less then men
  • using violence to solve problems that could be talked out
  • using violence on the vulnerable

Which uh, notably aren't in his list of reason men are attacked. So I want to ask what men's opinions are.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"browbeaten” male of the far left

This line really stood out to me. Have they met anyone on the left in their lives?

It's like they have some imaginary idea of what a left-winger looks and acts like in their minds.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

The left doesn't want you to know this but 100% of leftist women are dommes

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I think many are quick to colour all men with the same brush when any man does something bad (murder, domestic violence, etc). This ignores the fact that most men aren't doing this and are helpless to stop it. It's not like we're choosing to let domestic violence to continue. We're just as powerless as anyone else.

And there's a real focus on the worst of men's behaviour, without any appreciation of the good things men do, to balance it out.

All men are flawed, just like all women are flawed (except my Mrs). We're all a mix of good and bad, trying to do our best.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It’s not like we’re choosing to let domestic violence to continue. We’re just as powerless as anyone else.

I think this is really interesting, who do you think can?

It's also true that male loneliness is pretty significant, and lonely guys are more prone to developing extreme and hateful views but the only people that can do anything about man to man friendships are other men.

There are some fantastic initiatives like lens sheds that are trying to knit a healthy social structure and almost nobody participates in them.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Men don't have to have male friends to not be lonely. Any friends will do. I have lots of great female friends.

As far as solving domestic violence, I don't know how to do that. But I think we can all agree that we want it to end. Probably even the perpetrators of DV want it to end.

Maybe a big part of it is finding those who are most likely to be perpetrators and try to understand them better. And help them better understand themselves.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I do note an interesting difference in your approach to how to handle DV vs how to handle someone stringing a wire across a bike path. It may be a contradiction you wish to reflect on.

You might want to read this book to get a better idea behind the psychology of DV.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

What are you doing to prevent DV? (Not a challenge, I'm genuinely curious if you're part of any efforts)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

So if you read that book, or look into any of the research behind DV you will learn that it's not really a problem women can confront at the source because the psychology behind it is one which fundamentally views women as inferior. In the same way if someone is racist somebody from a group they hate is unlikely to meet with much success trying to change their views (at best probably getting recognition as "one of the good ones") women talking to men about why we're actually whole-arse people doesn't work very well.

Aside from trying in vain to get men to learn literally anything about why DV happens and why they can actually make a massive difference talking to their mates and setting norms for acceptable ideas about women at work/at the gym/at the club etc it's not really in my means to donate to a shelter or whatever. I do volunteer for the greens around elections.

That said, being a woman in society there's the sort of basic keeping an eye on things. Making a point to chat with neighbours, hosting drinks, sharing food etc that gives you a bit of a chance to have a network of support for people, victims tend to hide the harm believing themselves to be at fault so there's not a good chance you'll actually know. You can call a welfare check on a house if you hear a nasty fight but it's unlikely to do much.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Your book looks like an American thing. I try not to consume too much yank media. I read "See what you made me do" by Jess Hill a few years ago. Is it significantly different to that?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 21 hours ago

Pretty similar, I had forgotten the name of Jess's book. I think hers focuses more on legal stuff in Australia iirc and less on the personal psychology but it's there too.

They're both using the same body of knowledge.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

There's a difference between prevention and punishment. I believe people who kill their spouse (or attempt to on multiple occasions) should be imprisoned for life.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

My opinion is that men who think men are being attacked for their masculinity are misogynists who think that because they speak nicely to their wife/mother/daughter they are nice guys and all the toxic stuff the tolerate and/or do is just boys being boys.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

The impression that I'm getting is that some people are angry at not being praised, having people say mean things sometimes, or at the possibility of being passed over because of what rather than who they are.

Which I get it, that shit sucks. But like women are dealing with that too. Idk if men experience like getting catcalled and being like "shit, am I in danger now?". Do guys feel like you need another man to walk with you home from a train station at night?

It just seems a bit to me like there's not much empathy here from the blokes complaining. Yes we should all be kinder to each other, and being looked over is awful. On the latter women are looked over all the time and surely broadly making opportunity 50:50 is a fair goal (realistically because women live slightly longer a true unbiased society would see a very slight majority women in major positions). Like look at Parliament and tell me women aren't held back from power.

And with mean stuff being said like yes that is rude but again women also deal with that and worse. It doesn't seem like a reason to hold a grudge, it seems like a reason to band together to equalise everything so the fear and suspicion can stop.

[–] goodthanks 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

When I see people trying to define positive masculinity, they list traits that are actually good traits I look for in female partners, or male friends. This leads me to believe that the complaints about emasculation are confused ones. I know my mostly absent father complained to my mum about emasculation once. Well, step up and be strong and responsible like most single mothers have to do. Too many guys expect to be respected just for being male. Prove it. Be a good person, male or female.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

This is what confuses me. I am mostly a lesbian but have dated men a few times. I never resented their traits I would consider manly.

My sisters are married to men and they seem to enjoy the fact that they're men. They expect their partner to be sensitive, tactful, and mature but that is a basic expectation of every adult and not hard to meet.

My dad is a man, he's extremely handy and always willing to show us the ropes of some task or help out with his knowledge. That seems like masculinity to me.

I don't understand what men feel like they're not allowed to do that is "being a man". I get some stuff like roided up beauty standards are ridiculous but every human alive deals with impossible celebrity beauty.

[–] MothmanDelorian 2 points 2 days ago

There's a ton of casual misandry in American media and some are more sensitive to it than others.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I basically only see men attacked for

Hmm maybe this might help (it came out 3 days before the election) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSw04BwQy4M

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

Could you just summarise it because a video is sort of an inaccessible format for public text discussion?

which state election? Or do you mean federal 3 years ago?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

The video discusses the growing political divide, particularly focusing on how men, especially young men, are shifting towards the right politically.

The narrator critiques the Democratic Party's efforts to appeal to this demographic, highlighting various missteps and tone-deaf attempts at outreach. Here are the key points:

Gender Divide: The video starts by noting the increasing toxicity in gender discourse, with examples of anti-male sentiments from media and social media.

Political Shift: There's a discussion on how young men are moving towards the Republican Party, while young women are leaning more towards the Democrats. This shift is particularly notable in recent election data.

Democratic Party's Struggles: The narrator criticizes the Democratic Party's last-minute efforts to win over young male voters, such as creating spaces for white men and using Tim Walz as a "secret weapon" to appeal to male voters. These efforts are seen as superficial and ineffective.

Social Media Reactions: The video includes reactions from social media, highlighting the divisive and often dismissive attitudes towards men's concerns. Some tweets suggest that men need to "be better" or are inherently problematic.

Critique of Pandering: The narrator mocks the Democratic Party's attempts to pander to men, such as ads featuring Tim Walz doing stereotypically masculine activities. These efforts are seen as insincere and condescending.

Bernie Sanders: The video mentions Bernie Sanders as an example of a candidate who successfully spoke to the demographic the Democrats are now struggling to reach. His focus on working-class issues is highlighted as naturally attractive to men.

Call for Change: The narrator expresses frustration with the Democratic Party's messaging and calls for a more inclusive and effective approach to win back young men. The video ends with a plea for the party to evaluate what they're doing wrong and make changes for the betterment of society.

Overall, the video is a critique of the Democratic Party's strategies and a call for more genuine and effective outreach to young male voters.


This is the influence we get from America flooding in

Basically left wing progressives are inherently anti-male and anti-white male and social media helps amplify and push these beliefs far and wide because left wing progressives and women are supplying them with easy content

Racists Take a DNA Test https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HlGhVgV3Yw

"MEN ARE USELESS!" - After Dark Edit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uI1wptoSLaM

5.5 million views jesus

and I had these videos endlessly appear on my youtube homepage for ages because I watched MMA

Combine that with a lot of guys not doing great in life and then they get to see plenty of women being given a hand (admittedly this was a 30 second search, I don't want to even imagine how far and wide these programs and monetary advantages that are being given to women extend to):

https://www.vic.gov.au/womens-board-leadership-program

In recent years, Victoria has seen great progress in the representation of women on boards, with women now making up 54% of all public board positions in 2023

So when women already make up a majority of board positions and they still get given more advantages regardless:

The Victorian Government is sponsoring 50 women

The 2023 Diploma of Governance scholarship will provide governance training and networking for all women to advance their board careers in the not-for-profit sector.

And yeah, you're going to breed resentment when men apply and get denied and then look up why

Anyway I gotta stop procrastinating on me studies so not going to put much effort in after this post

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

Nice one for answering naeva's question. The part with women's scholarships is something that does hurt a lot of blokes as they have to work harder for the same opportunity.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

Basically left wing progressives are inherently anti-male and anti-white male and social media helps amplify and push these beliefs far and wide because left wing progressives and women are supplying them with easy content

You're describing the liberal wing of the U.S. Democratic Party. A "left-wing progressive" would be someone like Bernie Sanders.

Have a look at this:

Factions in the Democratic Party (United States)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

Without having clicked the link, I assumed the US election last year.