aromantic community

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Welcome to !aromantic,

Since there wasn't an aromantic community here I created one. As Lemmy has a small userbase it seems reasonable to not split up different aro content in different communities (i.e. one for memes and another one) so all aro content is welcome here. Have fun.

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Aromanticism as a choice? (self.aromantic)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by fperson to c/[email protected]

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Hey folks, I hope you're having a lovely day. I've been recently thinking about the idea of being aromantic by choice. It may sound weird, and some people may even disagree with it. However, I genuinely believe that it's pretty legit and helpful.

I consider myself aromantic. While it hasn't always been this way, I was always kind of leaning toward it. Several months ago, I was chatting with a friend about relationships (not only romantic) and, after some background thinking, concluded to be aromantic, and I'm happy about it since it helps me focus on stuff that I personally find more important. Also, it turns out to help develop better platonic relationships.

I'm also thinking about making a video on this topic once my tripod arrives (which is in a few days already!), making it even more interesting to discuss :).

I'd be glad to hear what you think about the idea. And maybe some other folks are this way?

Peace <3

edit: editing for possible actual federation?

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[–] Maaxorus 5 points 1 year ago

Hello! I know I'm late, but I had to say something. It seems to me you might have misunderstood how the whole aromanticism deal, or orientations in general, work.

Being aro is about attraction, not action. Choosing not to date is not the same as being aromantic, just how choosing to get into romantic relationships doesn't make you automatically allo. Aromanticism is a huge and complex variety of experiences, but none of them ever cite their lack of attraction as a choice.

As for you, maybe you only realized it recently or it changed overtime (yes that can happen), or you're an allo who decided they're happier not trying to pursue a relationship. These are possible explanations that I could think of and given the sheer breadth of the aro experience, there might be other explanations, but I'm not going to pretend I know more about you than you do. Either way, these are all perfectly fine ways to feel and I'm happy you figured something out for yourself. Just calling being aro a choice does not sit right with me.