Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
- No NSFW image posts.
- Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
- Please do not repost bigoted content here.
This community is supportive of DIY HRT. Unsolicited medical advice or caution being given to people on DIY will result in moderator action.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
- Gender Spectrum // Resources for youth, parents and family, educators, mental health professionals and faith leaders.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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There is so much good advice already, I just wanted to add that you are not alone at all in this, a lot of us feel this way. I remember feeling terrified to leave my house in a dress, I remember trying to seek resources on how to live with such extreme feelings of vulnerability, fear, and shame. It's so hard, but I don't have any advice other than to push through it and keep engaging in gender affirming practices that alleviate dysphoria, because it does get better.
Even after the first time wearing a dress in public there was a massive difference in my anxiety and sense of vulnerability. People for the most part didn't care that I was wearing a dress, and it made it easier to dismiss or at least move past my fears. I then built on that small carved-out safety and kept pushing.
Just stay safe and keep having positive experiences, over time it improves.
I'm only a year into HRT and it's an immense difference now vs when I first started. I feel like a fairly normal person now and I can go in public and interact with anyone as a woman and it's not a big deal - they don't seem to notice I'm trans and I don't think too much about it. I still of course have to do more work than cis people, but even many cis women feel insecure going out in public without doing makeup, for example. Voice training is probably the area I have to do the most work, making sure I warm up the voice in the morning and doing my exercises, and then in interactions making sure my voice doesn't fall back too much or accidentally start to sound male.
It all started to get easier around 6 - 8 months in, which is when the hormones had worked enough that I started to pass more and more, and when my voice training seemed to break through and I was starting to be able to have phone calls without being misgendered and I was able to reliably produce a feminine enough voice. It all works together, the more feminine I look the less mistakes in my voice seem to matter, and the longer I go the more practice I have with my voice and the less likely I am to make mistakes. So just do what you can to ensure things are improving, even if slowly. It's about small and persistent changes over a long time.