The Onion

I mean, it's not in a murder context but chainsaws can fuck themselves because I could never give the little piece of shit they gave me on the trail crew to stay running and you've never been more pissed off than having a pull start motor that doesn't fucking run.

Edit: I should add that most of the problem is I wasn't on the chainsaw crew, I was the head of the brush crew so they gave me the literal shitiest chainsaw they had in case I ran into an excuse for it. I wanted to throw it in the creek.