this post was submitted on 02 Jan 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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[–] Contramuffin 18 points 4 days ago (3 children)

The main reason to aim for the water is as contingency for split streams. Aim for center so that split streams have less chance of breaching the toilet bowl perimeter

[–] Psaldorn 20 points 4 days ago (3 children)

It's the 3am total darkness pisses. You use the sound to locate your stream and angle. Then you can hit the water/bowl interface and then fire for effect.

As the stream lessens you micro adjust to stay in the sweet zone.

Nobody wants to hit the edge, spray all over your shins then bend over to wipe it up and slip in your own piss spray slippery floor and knock yourself out on the pissy rim only to wake up to all your family looking at you in distain as you lay on the pissy floor.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 days ago

Nobody wants to hit the edge, spray all over your shins then bend over to wipe it up and slip in your own piss

This is why guys get married, to escape this hazaed... Night piss everywhere and ignore it, have the wife clean it up and complain endlessly.

This is also the leading cause of divorce apparently, according to the Wikipedia article on the matter.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 days ago

Oddly specific but also very relatable. Well done.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

Yeah, I start the stream slow in the center, then move to the ceramic as I increase the pressure. As the stream weakens, I move to the center-back so I don't drip on the seat.

My wife wants me to sit down, but I sometimes sneak in a standing pee and she never notices w/ this strategy.

[–] FireRetardant 5 points 4 days ago

No, the main reason is establish dominance with your loud, heavy flow piss stream. The splashes on the seat you intentionally kept down are there to mark your territory against any pissers that wish to challenge you.