this post was submitted on 31 Dec 2024
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Real talk: I've had this happen a couple of times, and know of many other people who either went through this or believed the same nonsense, with all types and permutations of identities and Southern plumbing between them. And all I'm left with after trying to wrap my head around this thing is a question: can we really blame the people who are doing stuff like this considering Mass Media's been force-feeding us this nonsense from the beginning?
I'm not saying this should imply forgiving the behaviour, not in a million years! I'm just questioning where our collective frustration should be directed.
Only valuing a relationship for the momentary bliss of being close to someone new is a problem of emotional immaturity.
The problem arises when we consider the facts that a person's emotional development depends on parenting, and people tend to partner with others of similar emotional maturity. If you've got one immature parent, you've more than likely got two. It takes extra work to shed that baggage and start being your genuine self.
It's definitely a cultural ill, but I can't credit the notion that our emotional development comes from our media. We need to be teaching people what emotional maturity is, how to get there, and how to heal from having emotionally immature parents.
Emotional immaturity is so pervasive at this point you'd need to put this stuff in the curriculum of every school and have that initiative succeed for multiple decades to change the culture.
What is emotional maturity?
That's a big subject, so I'm just going to recommend my favourite book about it:
Highly recommend. Bravo for suggesting this book.