this post was submitted on 30 Dec 2024
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I was perplexed by the question. What's the difference? They explained: "Should I tiptoe and watch my manners around you or be blunt? Flirtatious or chill? Brag about my sexual conquests or talk about our feelings? When you're sad, do I hug you and buy you ice cream or do we go grab some beers? Should I wonder if we'll ever hook up?"

I'm not sure if I'm more appalled or confused by this mindset. I thought everyone treated their friends the same regardless of their gender identity. Is this just a fringe case of toxic masculinity, or is this really how the average cis person sees the world?

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[–] Pronell 24 points 3 days ago

Its just the way some people learn to be and have observed how others interact.

My dad has a story from the late 70s when he was working in seminars. The more conservative the area, the more often women interpreted being included and an equal as flirtation. And as my dad was married, this offended them greatly.

Your mileage will vary with each person. But what your friend was asking was how you would like to be treated, because he is now on uneven footing, and I think this was really cool of him. Even if it's a bit sexist, it's honest.