Am I the Asshole?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throwaway479259 on 2023-06-22 15:09:24+00:00.

I (27F) got married to my husband (29M) last weekend. We spent months planning it and we were really excited because we had managed to rent our dream venue, find a perfect bakery for the cake and gorgeous decoration. We went with a fairytale aesthetic and most of our decoration was a dark green/ wood toned.

For the bridal party, we chose a few fairly affordable dresses that fit the theme (each about $100) and I asked each of my bridesmaids to buy one for themselves (but clarified that if any of them was struggling financially, I‘d cover the cost of the dress).

A few weeks ago, my husband‘s brother (24M), who is one of the groomsmen, asked me whether he could wear a dress to the wedding as well. I knew that he liked expressing himself through fashion, so I told him to go ahead and sent him the same selection of dresses my bridesmaids had been given.

Apart from thanking me, I didn’t hear back from him about the dress situation, so I just assumed that there were no problems.

However, the day of the wedding, he showed up in a pink dress. Not a muted rosé, but a hot pink, walking highlighter-esque.

I asked him what the fuck he was wearing and he told me that I had given him permission to wear a dress. I had, but I was expecting him to pick from my pre-chosen selection and I had very clearly communicated that. He hust shrugged, saying he hadn’t liked any of those dresses.

At that point, I was nothing but stressed and trying to hold back angry tears. Even after my husband had tried talking to him, he insisted on wearing that dress and I set an ultimatum for him to either go change (my husband had a spare suit at the venue) or get out.

He told me calm down because "bridezilla didn‘t look good on me" and I just screamed at him go go fucking change or I‘d kick him out myself. He seemed surprised at my outburst and with an annoyed huff, he went to get changed into my husband‘s suit.

Apart from that incident, the evening was lovely and except for the ceremony, my husband tried keeping his brother as far away from me as possible.

I‘ve had time to think about the situation and I‘m starting to think I might’ve overreacted a bit and shouldn’t have been as rude. Both my husband and my bridesmaids think that I had every right to be angry, but my BIL hasn‘t talked to any of us since the wedding and my brother received some calls from his family about how he shouldn’t have let me talk like that to his brother.