this post was submitted on 28 Dec 2024
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Ye Power Trippin' Bastards

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This is a community in the spirit of "Am I The Asshole" where people can post their own bans from lemmy or reddit or whatever and get some feedback from others whether the ban was justified or not.

Sometimes one just wants to be able to challenge the arguments some mod made and this could be the place for that.

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Expect to receive feedback about your posts, they might even be negative.

Make sure you follow this instance's code of conduct. In other words we won't allow bellyaching about being sanctioned for hate speech or bigotry.


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And apparently, also when you think that 'They' is a perfectly serviceable gender-neutral singular pronoun, but are willing to use other pronouns if asked to.

EDIT: Other removable offenses on Blahaj now include questioning mod/admin decisions and quoting the modlog as a reason why you're leaving.

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[–] captainlezbian 10 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I'll disagree on that, but it's complicated. I'm a trans woman that's semi passing. When I'm dressed even remotely androgynous or if I haven't told a person irl that my pronouns are she/her, or even if I think they may have forgotten then I don't consider it misgendering. But sometimes people are clearly refusing to address me with feminine pronouns, despite me having told them several times, presenting myself femininely, and them correctly gendering the cis and cis passing women near me.

[–] lemonmelon 9 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I see using they/them as choosing not to engage with gender at all, so I cannot fathom a circumstance in which it would be misgendering to use such pronouns. If the argument against is that someone in refusing to address one by their preferred gender, I can see some merit in that position, but ultimately I believe one cannot force another to engage with them in terms of gender.

Now, if one were to intentionally use masculine pronouns to refer to someone who wishes to be addressed in feminine or nonbinary terms, of course that meets the definition of active misgendering. But I believe anyone has the right to simply refuse to interact with another with regards to gender by using common, nongendered pronouns respectfully.

[–] captainlezbian 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's a form of refusing to accept my gender as I say it. You're welcome to it, I won't seek to have you arrested for it or anything but if you call all cis people by their gender and all trans people by the neutral I will choose to not interact with you as possible because you aren't acknowledging my gender

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

There is some nuance to it, when someone is obviously trying to avoid addressing you in the same way you make the effort to address someone else, that is a sign of lesser respect.

Otherwise I hold the same view as lemonmelon described.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Pretty much agreed with you here

[–] PugJesus 2 points 1 week ago