this post was submitted on 25 Dec 2024
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Am I just crazy, or is the mary illustrated here kind of a bitch? The baby isn't going to care if you get it a fucking onesie or a lasagna, because it definitely won't understand anything going on for another year, minimum. If I bring a gift 'for the baby' that the parents will use, isn't that just as good? Maybe gold, incense, and myrrh aren't the best things to put in the crib, but I'm pretty sure it was some 14-year old hands that opened the gift wrap, and those 14 year old hands can sell the expensive gifts if they want to.
If you just got done giving birth in a stable because some diety decided to knock you up without your consent then you've earned the right to be a bit of a bitch.
I mean, yes, fine, agreed. I'd love it if 'god' decided to pull a repeat but did it in a state that actually has healthcare. Hello, abortion-jesus!
Here are some practical gift ideas for the newborn saviour of humanity:
Baby clothes
Crib
Diapers
Teddy bear
Rattle
Babysitting vouchers
Baby bjorn
Tea (for mum)
Mobile
Chocolate (for mum)
The Hobbit hardcover
I'm not sure how this immaculate conception works, but maybe also baby formula in case Mary wasn't lactating since this was a... mysterious pregnancy.
If she was able to have the labor portion, I'd assume everything else went according to normal pregnancy standards. So, yes, I guess 14-year old Mary was lactating?
Weird nitpick, and I only know this because it was a bar trivia question that I got wrong once: the Immaculate Conception actually refers to Mary's conception, not Jesus'.
... I know right? Like what?
Oh my non pun intendedly God... I was raised Catholic. I don't think a single person knows it.
I'm just getting church flashbacks to mentions of "virgin Mary, conceived without sin", and never thought of it. But then she wasn't a virgin at the time of Jesus birth?
Edit: OK, I'm reading more about it and think I understand now. So it's 2 different things. Mary was born from sex. Sex is not what the "born without sin" is about, but about humanity inheriting Adam and Eve's original sin. Jesus was born without sex, and Mary was indeed a virgin.
I can't believe no one ever properly explained this part of the story in the 9 years of useless Sunday school.
Eh, we're talking about Christianity here... Is it really that hard to believe?