Philosophy

Given that religion exists I'd say you're not alone in seeking meaning.

There are parts of your brain that exist for the sole purpose of identifying why things happen, imagine the advantage an organism has that can spot patterns in their environment and make predictions based off of what they've seen.

Unfortunately sometimes that hard wired part of the brain seeks to find deeper meaning in places that provide no meaning.

Shadows don't exist, but we see them, they have no purpose because they are nothing but an emergent phenomenon.

An asteroid travels through space for millions and millions of miles in the depths of nothingness between galaxies. It is never seen by a sentient being and is far enough beyond the range of gravitational affect of everything that it's influence is less than a single decaying atom. Why is that asteroid there, what is its purpose? It exists to exist.

You are a bundle of atoms destined to lose cohesion, revel in the beauty of it.