this post was submitted on 27 Nov 2024
72 points (91.9% liked)
Asklemmy
44067 readers
1183 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- [email protected]: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
I think this is a much more useful strategy for convincing people to change. If someone like I did, mentions they aren't happy about, for instance, pronouns, then people start lashing out. I might have had a conversation on this, but honestly the tone in some of the responses isn't likely to convince me to listen. Even when I start out saying I'm going to end up on the losing side of this.
I understand that, but I’ll also share a bit of unasked for wisdom that was difficult for me to learn: I’ve never been long term grateful that I dug my feet in to an emotional reaction. I agree with the angry people, even though I think they communicated it poorly.
In my country we have an organization called PFLAG, it began as an organization for parents and friends of queer people to organize for our rights. It offers a service I think is incredibly valuable, no judgement peer counseling for people struggling with a loved one coming out. Nobody ever will convince someone that it’s ok that their kid is queer quite as well as someone who once needed that same convincing. IDK, I’m just thinking that maybe we need to bring that attitude in more. Balances can be so hard to strike, especially after years of combatting bad faith arguers.