this post was submitted on 26 Nov 2024
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Academia Gone Wild

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A community for funny, quirky, and downright bizarre excerpts from peer-reviewed academic journals and scholarly textbooks. This is not an NSFW community, nor is it a place to make fun of the authors who dedicate immense time and effort to forwarding their respective fields. We're laughing with them, not at them.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

Just this entire paper

But despite these abilities and accomplishments of the index finger, I maintain that this digit has a poor personality. It is clumsy and forever getting in the way. It is lazy at every opportunity, and it is at all times arrogant. In general, the index finger refuses to get involved in anything more vigorous than releasing the arrow, dealing from the bottom, pulling the trigger, or putting the finger on someone.

To demonstrate what a poor participant the index finger can be, get a pound of eight or ten penny common nails, a well-balanced hammer, and a heavy log into which you can drive the nails. Start four rows of ten nails, each well spaced, with at least two inches of the nails still to be driven into the wood. The object of this little exercise is to hit the individual nails, solidly, with hard, precise hammer strokes. We will grip the hammer differently in nailing each row. First hold it between the thumb and the index finger and strike each of the ten nails in turn. If you manage three good hits out of ten strokes, you will be about average. Now add your middle finger to the hammer and try again. With this addition, you should be able to get five solid hammer blows out of ten. If you add the ring finger, you should hit eight or nine good ones. When you add your little finger and grip the hammer with your entire hand, you should get ten out of ten good strikes. Oh, I forgot to say the results will depend, of course, upon your being effective with a hammer at the outset.

In spite of its singular ability of precision, it is not difficult to feel ashamed of the index finger. After sustaining an inconsequential injury as a result of its own arrogance, it will refuse to perform regardless of circumstances.