Comic Strips

This is a first turn win if you draw all four of these cards in your opening hand.

Black Lotus and Mox Ruby can be put down on your opening turn, and since they are not lands you are not limited to playing just one of them. If you are poor you can substitute the ruby with a regular old mountain. Basically, I only employ the ruby here to firmly illustrate that I am indeed an asshole.

If you are poor, cheeky, and lucky you can replace the Black Lotus with 3 Lotus Petals and still theoretically draw all the cards you need to do this with your opening hand.

1. Sacrifice the Black Lotus for 3 green mana.
2. Spend 2 green manna on the Channel, pay 19 life, gain 19 colorless mana.
3. Tap the Mox Ruby for 1 red mana.
4. Use that 1 red mana to cast Fireball. Dump all 19 colorless mana from your Channel, plus the one green left over from the Channel into that fireball which adds up to 20.
5. Fireball does 20 damage to your opponent. You take 19 damage from Channel. You are left at 1 life, but your opponent is dead.

Normally M:tG games start with both players at 20 life. But it doesn't matter if you play some weird format where everyone has more; all you do is sacrifice all but 1 of your life and dump it into fireball plus the one left over green mana from the Lotus. As long as both players have the same life count or you don't have less life then your opponent for any reason, you win.

Realistically, just being able to show people this hand will discourage them from engaging you at all in any type of no-holds-barred play. They'll hide behind their silly Modern or Commander formats or whatever, where Black Lotus is banned and Channel is either restricted or banned.

Wimps.