this post was submitted on 11 Nov 2024
145 points (89.6% liked)

Asklemmy

44135 readers
714 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy ๐Ÿ”

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 

I'm starting to think that my life is over and I don't want to live anymore. As of writing this I am a 23 year old woman with no qualifications or education. I have learning disabilities and my IQ is just 76. I struggle with things like talking, maths and spelling and I can't find a job.

When I was a kid I knew I was different. Things that were easy for the other kids to do took me ages to learn. Kids used to make fun of me because of the way I talked and in general I could fit in. As I got older my learning disabilities become more noticeable. I was diagnosed with ADHD and low intelligence and therefore struggled academically but my dad refused to put me in a special education program because he thought it would be an embarrassment. School was very hard for me. I would work my ass off just to get C's and B's and my father was very abusive. He would expect me to do well in school and if I didn't he would beat and punish me. I had to repeat the 7th and 9th grade but I eventually graduated but very poor grades and no qualifications. When I was around 15-18 started to do drugs like weed and alcohol just to cope.

I left my parents house when I was 19 and went to live with a friend. I have very little money as I'm addicted to drugs and my lack of education makes getting a job practically impossible. I don't see my life going anywhere and when I'm not on drugs I'm miserable. My brothers and sisters have done so much better then me and it makes me so jealous, angry and ashamed. I know this may sound cringe but I honestly can't do this anymore.

EDIT: I now have a job at Burger King as a cook. It's not glamorous but it's some money.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[โ€“] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

I read this post yesterday and I went back to find it to write a response.

First, let me clarity when I give advice, I speak my mind, saying what I would do if I know what I know now but were in your shoes. It isn't intended to make you feel better, but genuinely a matter of "this is the easiest way to reach my goals".

First, let's address the problems you can fix, and ignore the ones you can't. You say you're 76 IQ, but to be honest you wrote a more comprehensive post than most people can. In any case, check out this video by a guy who claims to have 70 IQ and how he holds down a job at McDonalds: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjDXvXACIEA

Why a job at McDonalds? For a few reasons:

  1. You already live with your friend. You're not about to be homeless. This is the best time to start working.
  2. Getting a job means getting experience working. You might not think much of it now, but that's step 1 to getting a job at a company with a union, or a company that will offer you full time for health insurance
  3. Getting a job will preoccupy your time. You can't quit drugs and alcohol if you're not distracting yourself with something else
  4. A new job means meeting new people and learning new things. You might find another path yourself
  5. McDonald's will let anybody interview and start working. So you can get this job

Second, you need a long-term plan. This is why I mentioned a full time job with a union: it doesn't matter if it's an Amazon Warehouse or a Walmart, a union will look out for your best interests. They will give you a livable future and be the backbone you need for support, since it seems you can't turn to your family for that.

Getting a job at a company with a union is harder, but that's why you do step 1 first. When you have experience and a reputation working, these doors will always be easier to open up.