this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2024
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Somewhere along the line, when you finally meet the person that truly meets all your expectations for a life together, your friend:
Oh no my current partner has had sex before with someone and they are grown up enough to still be able to talk with them. /s
But for real though, it is more a green flag for me than a red flag.
The above is oversimplified and written to elicite a chuckle but most people aren't that comfortable with having another human being (I don't discriminate; just aiming for the most probable scenario) their significant other used to pork on a more or less distant past staying around. Most will have doubts about their relationship and its heading. Or even worst.
Monkey brain and pride computes around "If they porked in the past, did they stop completely or is it a come and go situation?" Humans are strange creatures.
So you don't trust your partner then? I've had ex's that I remained friends with and they had ex's that they remained friends with. As long as no one's an asshole about it it's fine. The fact that you used to sleep with someone doesn't always mean you're just waiting for an opportunity to jump on them again.
I trust the person I'm with and I've met the person dating them before me. I didn't felt threatened or insecure; I see myself as a passing shadow through other peoples lives, which is quite liberating. If I manage to gain a prolongued stay, as I have, good, if not, good as well.
So then what's there to be uncomfortable about with them remaining friends with an ex?
For me, personally, nothing. For most, apparently, a lot.
Definitely agree with the humans are strange creatures. Wasn't also specifically pointing at you and indeed more the general consensus.
I just understood there was room and need for me to clarify my position and view, so I took the chance.
But we are, indeed, a strange bunch.
🤢🤮
Why do some men think that is an acceptable term for sex? It's so degrading. Or is that the point, to compare sex to fucking a piece of meat?
That was you'll take away from that comment?
They make a fairly good point that you seem to be ignoring
Pick whatever synonym you prefer and read it in place of.
I personally dislike "fuck"; sounds purely physical and unemotional, aggressive, quasi mechanical, like scratching an itch.
While "porking" sounds silly, goofy, almost nonsensical. Something two people attracted and trusting of each other would blurt out as teasing.
The first carries the same weight you vocalized on your reply for me, only that I don't apply that disgust solely towards men. I can tolerate a "fuck" as an expletive towards anything in a figurative way (fuck the traffic, the car, the coffee being too hot, the iced tea too sweet, the dog peeing on the sofa, the cat throwing up on a shoe) but I sincerely dislike saying or hearing said "fuck" in the literal sense. It's crude, rude, disrespectful towards the other.
Do women who you 'pork' like you refering to fucking thrm with that term?
I only use euphemistics if there is an established relation and consent to it.
At some point in my life I was with someone that had a kink for being called by terms I consider demeaning towards any human being, so I openly refused to do so and explained why I did it. The relationship ended shortly after.
Because I see sex in a couple dynamic as a corner stone for a healthy relationship, I always strived to be open about talking regarding limits, dos and donts. I like enjoying myself before, while and after being with my partner and making sure my partner does as well and laughing and goofing around is an integral part of it.
So, if there is mutual trust to throw around some silly dirty talk, yes, to answer your question, I would.
I just want you to know that your comment wasn't blatantly disrespected at least by this internet stranger.
It's a thoughtful reply to some asshat that was asking you questions in bad faith, he was not open to a different point of view from the outset.
And also that's pretty awesome stance to take. I wish more folks were this mature about their relationships
If somehow letting out all of that vitriole helped that person in feeling relieved and with their views asserted, good for them.
I sleep at ease with my conscience, as I didn't insulted them, regardless of what they felt or thought.
Thank you for your kind words.
How is 'pork' an acceptable term for sex though? The euphemism you are implying with it is literally to 'fuck a piece of meat'. And pig meat at that.
This is not a cute or light hearted thing to imply when talking about sex. 'Fuck' is far less offensive a term for sex than 'pork'.
But sure, whatever, if the women you fuck do want sex with them to be spoken about like you're sticking your dick in pieces of pig meat, then by all means.
Just understand that it is disgusting and degrading to speak about sex this way publicly and you should really be more called out on it.
After that outing, that I sincerely hope has made your peace, I consider myself as such.
this is such a grossly uncharitable interpretation you can not be serious right now
"This is how I see how. so it is how it is for everyone.
So it is written, so shall it be"
Ramses, or Aksamit?
"Thanks for giving them the experience needed to satisfy my sexual needs"
And any partner of mine in that situation would be like cool… 3some? And everyone has fun