this post was submitted on 14 Jul 2023
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For me, I guess it's about self expression. I can't convey the deepest parts of who I am in words alone - I need music for that. I want to be seen and appreciated for what makes me unique, and not just be another arbitrary person surviving in society. I may never have much of an audience, but it's better to feel understood by a few people than none at all.
Interesting, I don´t really think people will understand what Iḿ trying to say in my music. Or lets put it that way, I couldnt even express it. All I do is start somewhere and have fun along the way. Its not me, its a self establishing organism that is shaped through my perception. Its an adventure but without any target really.
The other thing is just writing a song that works as x or y.
It doesn't have to have some profound message to be "you." Your taste in what sounds good or not, and the choices you make are still a reflection of your unique personality. It's also completely normal for it to take time to figure yourself out and decide what it is you want to say to the world. Or, if you just want to have fun and leave it at that, that's perfectly valid too.
I see, I think 24 years of producing should be kinda enough to find your musical purpose but it got worse over time. I used to make just short loops for my mcees and we went from there but they are are older and much busier. So now Iḿ pretty much standing there and thinking about solo takeoffs like a really good Drum n Bass album or electro ish kinda deep house groove loaded stuff with real instruments or sthg. But Iḿ really lakcing in patience, I mostly start stuff, got a solid core but struggle to get it going from there despite plenty of knowledge. I just enjoy plain loops, I dont need a story to tell, the loop it self is the story.
Also. there is so much stuff out there and I rarely find anything new that impresses me so I dont really see my own stuff as impressive either and got the feel it doesnt have anything of worth after the initial novelty effect.
Best thing is to just keep it as a day in the skatepark kind of thing. Go in there, pull some tricks, sweat a little, have fun and then let it go.
Just freeflow thoughts
i get what you’re saying. i struggle with this feeling myself. honestly, the only thing that separates the artists who establish themselves and those that treat it like a day at the skate park is just how crazy they are. the more unhinged the more willing they are to essentially push themselves into a state of delusional grandeur. sounds corny as hell but believing in yourself (which can be construed as deluding yourself, just depends on the outcome) and that you’re the hot shit that has what it takes to go somewhere and impose that feeling on others is the great separator. it takes ego. or a shit ton of luck but those are the exception not the rule.
Yes thats definitely a point. I think I was there at some point and deliverd a few hits locally and that was a pretty long period that had just that one goal. Not as extreme though as that wasn´t necessary at that time :D
I agree that the core motivation is how you identify with your music and if you live in it and know not much else that pushes you into the extremes. What I also noticed yesterday was definetly inspiration. Not only tutorials and books for knowledge but real live, non music drama and moments that act as a unimagined source for it. Like emotional material and soul battery power that gets the spark lit again. I forgot that a little and thought you can make great art while living in a white room with nothing else happening. You cant. Music is transformed energy from somewhere.