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Women of Lemmy, how to pleasure someone that does not enjoy any clitoris stimulation? (self.asklemmy)

submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by MTK to c/[email protected]

NSFW 71 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Well, as the title says, I'm facing an issue that I'm not sure how to improve.

My partner does not enjoy any sort of clitoris stimulation, I tried everything from rough to gentle, from fingers to tongue, with lube and without. It seems that she truly does not enjoy it in anyway.

She does enjoy penetration very much and I put all of my efforts there, but I feel like I can't get her to an orgasm/higher pleasure and while she is satisfied right now I fear that over time she wont be.

So my question is what else can I do? There are some other pleasure areas that we use such as ears, emotional connection, fantasies, dirty talk, etc.

Maybe something I haven't tried on the clitoris? Maybe something else that can take it to the next level? Maybe something that she can do? Maybe just accept that this is okay? Again, she does enjoy herself a lot and is completely satisfied as far as I know, but as I'm her first I think that she is missing out on a level of pleasure that I can't figure how to help her achieve without the clitoris.

ETA: she does not masturbate, so no guidance or hidden methods on her part.

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[–] SwordandArt 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Not a woman but a good question to think about is can she orgasm through masturbation? If so ask her to explain and/or show you and incorporate it into your play time

[–] MTK 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Not applicable as she does not masturbate

[–] SwordandArt 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Very fascinating. I assume it’s a topic that has already been explored but if not it could be illuminating to do so.

Other recommendation is to explore gspot stimulation with fingers/toys and anal stimulation if she is into it.

Ultimately though don’t worry too much about this if she says she is satisfied. But the lack of clitoral stimulation could require some medical investigation. Something like her hormones could be off.

[–] MTK 2 points 1 month ago

Thank you!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Women who don’t know their own bodies have a tough time orgasming. Get her a toy to use by herself, or convince her to start exploring her own body.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Agreed just FYI you probably mean “encourage” rather than “convince.” If they don’t want to explore their body for whatever reason, OP shouldn’t attempt to convince them.

(That said, if they are uncomfortable with their own body/sexuality, it might be something to bring up with a mental health professional, since there’s usually a lot to unpack there.)