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Women of Lemmy, how to pleasure someone that does not enjoy any clitoris stimulation? (self.asklemmy)

submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by MTK to c/[email protected]

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Well, as the title says, I'm facing an issue that I'm not sure how to improve.

My partner does not enjoy any sort of clitoris stimulation, I tried everything from rough to gentle, from fingers to tongue, with lube and without. It seems that she truly does not enjoy it in anyway.

She does enjoy penetration very much and I put all of my efforts there, but I feel like I can't get her to an orgasm/higher pleasure and while she is satisfied right now I fear that over time she wont be.

So my question is what else can I do? There are some other pleasure areas that we use such as ears, emotional connection, fantasies, dirty talk, etc.

Maybe something I haven't tried on the clitoris? Maybe something else that can take it to the next level? Maybe something that she can do? Maybe just accept that this is okay? Again, she does enjoy herself a lot and is completely satisfied as far as I know, but as I'm her first I think that she is missing out on a level of pleasure that I can't figure how to help her achieve without the clitoris.

ETA: she does not masturbate, so no guidance or hidden methods on her part.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Agreed just FYI you probably mean “encourage” rather than “convince.” If they don’t want to explore their body for whatever reason, OP shouldn’t attempt to convince them.

(That said, if they are uncomfortable with their own body/sexuality, it might be something to bring up with a mental health professional, since there’s usually a lot to unpack there.)