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How can I "support" my family from a distance if they don't like the idea of receiving money from me? (self.asklemmy)

submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by whitecold to c/[email protected]

20 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Edit: THANK YOU EVERYONE, there has been so many great ideas, and it was really eye-opening. I've decided to save up money for now in case of an emergency, and surprise them with something this Christmas. Also will make sure to call often, and visit them when possible. I'm seriously grateful to everyone who has shared their opinion!

I've recently moved out, so I can no longer help out with household duties (like cooking, cleaning, gardening, etc), which is what I used to do to help them - mind you they are not elderly, still actively working, so I just wanted to help them have more free time for hobbies and such.

Since I'm no longer there physically, I can obviously not help with these anymore, and they are both very much against the idea of spending money on cleaners, gardeners and such (to be fair, I'm also not really into the idea) - they are also very much against the idea of receiving money from me. The problem is, I don't know how else I could help, if I can't chime in for household expenses.

I'm really curious what others do to support their family from afar without directly sending money being involved?

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[–] snausagesinablanket 78 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Build an emergency fund and hang on to it for everyone.

[–] QuarterSwede 20 points 1 month ago

This is an excellent idea.

If you really want to help and they want you to be on your own (and probably are enjoying their solitude) this is a neat way to do so. They don’t want help now but they may in the future.

Though, as a parent myself, I’m guessing they’d want you to save for yourself and realize they can take care of themselves. Good parents want what’s best for their children without thinking of themselves, it’s a sacrificial relationship.

However, what they do want is a continuing relationship. Call or meet with them regularly. Take pictures of you and your adventures. If you decide to start a family send them plenty of pictures of the grandkids and have dinner with them regularly if you’re close by.